William Shakespeare - The Complete Works/William Shakespeare - The Complete Works on CD-ROM.iso/library/text/ado/ado.txt

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   0  <O 21><H Ado><D 1598><K play><A Shakespeare>
   0  <T title>Much Ado About Nothing
   0  <X 1> <Y 1> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato, governor of Messina, Hero his        +
   0  daughter, and Beatrice his niece, with a Messenger}
   1  <S LEONATO> <T prose> I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon
   2  comes this night to Messina.
   3  <S MESSENGER> He is very near by this. He was not three
   4  leagues off when I left him.
   5  <S LEONATO> How many gentlemen have you lost in this
   6  action?
   7  <S MESSENGER> But few of any sort, and none of name.
   8  <S LEONATO> A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings
   9  home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath
  10  bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called
  11  Claudio.
  12  <S MESSENGER> Much deserved on his part, and equally
  13  remembered by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself
  14  beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure of a
  15  lamb the feats of a lion. He hath indeed better bettered
  16  expectation than you must expect of me to tell you
  17  how.
  18  <S LEONATO> He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very
  19  much glad of it.
  20  <S MESSENGER> I have already delivered him letters, and there
  21  appears much joy in him_even so much that joy could
  22  not show itself modest enough without a badge of
  23  bitterness.
  24  <S LEONATO> Did he break out into tears?
  25  <S MESSENGER> In great measure.
  26  <S LEONATO> A kind overflow of kindness, there are no faces
  27  truer than those that are so washed. How much better
  28  is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
  29  <S BEATRICE> I pray you, is Signor Montanto returned from
  30  the wars, or no?
  31  <S MESSENGER> I know none of that name, lady. There was
  32  none such in the army, of any sort.
  33  <S LEONATO> What is he that you ask for, niece?
  34  <S HERO> My cousin means Signor Benedick of Padua.
  35  <S MESSENGER> O, he's returned, and as pleasant as ever he
  36  was.
  37  <S BEATRICE> He set up his bills here in Messina, and
  38  challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool,
  39  reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid and
  40  challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many
  41  hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many
  42  hath he killed? For indeed I promised to eat all of his
  43  killing.
  44  <S LEONATO> Faith, niece, you tax Signor Benedick too much.
  45  But he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
  46  <S MESSENGER> He hath done good service, lady, in these
  47  wars.
  48  <S BEATRICE> You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat
  49  it. He is a very valiant trencherman, he hath an
  50  excellent stomach.
  51  <S MESSENGER> And a good soldier too, lady.
  52  <S BEATRICE> And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to
  53  a lord?
  54  <S MESSENGER> A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with
  55  all honourable virtues.
  56  <S BEATRICE> It is so, indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man.
  57  But for the stuffing_well, we are all mortal.
  58  <S LEONATO> You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a
  59  kind of merry war betwixt Signor Benedick and her.
  60  They never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between
  61  them.
  62  <S BEATRICE> Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict
  63  four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the
  64  whole man governed with one, so that if he have wit
  65  enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a
  66  difference between himself and his horse, for it is all
  67  the wealth that he hath left to be known a reasonable
  68  creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every
  69  month a new sworn brother.
  70  <S MESSENGER> Is 't possible?
  71  <S BEATRICE> Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as
  72  the fashion of his hat, it ever changes with the next
  73  block.
  74  <S MESSENGER> I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
  75  <S BEATRICE> No. An he were, I would burn my study. But I
  76  pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young
  77  squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the
  78  devil?
  79  <S MESSENGER> He is most in the company of the right noble
  80  Claudio.
  81  <S BEATRICE> O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease.
  82  He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker
  83  runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio. If he
  84  have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand
  85  pound ere a be cured.
  86  <S MESSENGER> I will hold friends with you, lady.
  87  <S BEATRICE> Do, good friend.
  88  <S LEONATO> You will never run mad, niece.
  89  <S BEATRICE> No, not till a hot January.
  90  <S MESSENGER> Don Pedro is approached.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro,          +
  90  Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and Don John the bastard}
  91  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> Good Signor Leonato, are you come to meet
  92  your trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid cost,
  93  and you encounter it.
  94  <S LEONATO> Never came trouble to my house in the likeness
  95  of your grace; for trouble being gone, comfort should
  96  remain, but when you depart from me, sorrow abides
  97  and happiness takes his leave.
  98  <S DON PEDRO> You embrace your charge too willingly. I think
  99  this is your daughter.
 100  <S LEONATO> Her mother hath many times told me so.
 101  <S BENEDICK> Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
 102  <S LEONATO> Signor Benedick, no, for then were you a child.
 103  <S DON PEDRO> You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by
 104  this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers
 105  herself. Be happy, lady, for you are like an honourable
 106  father.
 107  <S BENEDICK> If Signor Leonato be her father, she would not
 108  have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like
 109  him as she is.
 110  <S BEATRICE> I wonder that you will still be talking, Signor
 111  Benedick. Nobody marks you.
 112  <S BENEDICK> What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet
 113  living?
 114  <S BEATRICE> Is it possible disdain should die while she hath
 115  such meet food to feed it as Signor Benedick? Courtesy
 116  itself must convert to disdain if you come in her
 117  presence.
 118  <S BENEDICK> Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I
 119  am loved of all ladies, only you excepted. And I would
 120  I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart,
 121  for truly I love none.
 122  <S BEATRICE> A dear happiness to women. They would else
 123  have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank
 124  God and my cold blood I am of your humour for that.
 125  I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
 126  swear he loves me.
 127  <S BENEDICK> God keep your ladyship still in that mind. So
 128  some gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate
 129  scratched face.
 130  <S BEATRICE> Scratching could not make it worse an 'twere
 131  such a face as yours were.
 132  <S BENEDICK> Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
 133  <S BEATRICE> A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of
 134  yours.
 135  <S BENEDICK> I would my horse had the speed of your tongue,
 136  and so good a continuer. But keep your way, o' God's
 137  name. I have done.
 138  <S BEATRICE> You always end with a jade's trick. I know you
 139  of old.
 140  <S DON PEDRO> That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signor Claudio
 141  and Signor Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath
 142  invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least
 143  a month, and he heartily prays some occasion may
 144  detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but
 145  prays from his heart.
 146  <S LEONATO> If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.
 147  <T asd> {(To Don John)}<T prose> Let me bid you welcome, my lord. Being
 148  reconciled to the Prince your brother, I owe you all
 149  duty.
 150  <S DON JOHN> I thank you. I am not of many words, but I
 151  thank you.
 152  <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(to Don Pedro)}<T prose> Please it your grace lead  +
 152  on?
 153  <S DON PEDRO> Your hand, Leonato. We will go together.<T esd> {Exeunt    +
 153  all but Benedick and Claudio}
 154  <S CLAUDIO> <T prose> Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signor
 155  Leonato?
 156  <S BENEDICK> I noted her not, but I looked on her.
 157  <S CLAUDIO> Is she not a modest young lady?
 158  <S BENEDICK> Do you question me as an honest man should
 159  do, for my simple true judgement, or would you have
 160  me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant
 161  to their sex?
 162  <S CLAUDIO> No, I pray thee speak in sober judgement.
 163  <S BENEDICK> Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high
 164  praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a
 165  great praise. Only this commendation I can afford her,
 166  that were she other than she is she were unhandsome,
 167  and being no other but as she is, I do not like her.
 168  <S CLAUDIO> Thou thinkest I am in sport. I pray thee tell me
 169  truly how thou likest her.
 170  <S BENEDICK> Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?
 171  <S CLAUDIO> Can the world buy such a jewel?
 172  <S BENEDICK> Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you
 173  this with a sad brow, or do you play the flouting jack,
 174  to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare
 175  carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you to
 176  go in the song?
 177  <S CLAUDIO> In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I
 178  looked on.
 179  <S BENEDICK> I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no
 180  such matter. There's her cousin, an she were not
 181  possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty
 182  as the first of May doth the last of December. But I
 183  hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you?
 184  <S CLAUDIO> I would scarce trust myself though I had sworn
 185  the contrary, if Hero would be my wife.
 186  <S BENEDICK> Is 't come to this? In faith, hath not the world
 187  one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall
 188  I never see a bachelor of three-score again? Go to,
 189  i' faith, an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke,
 190  wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don
 191  Pedro is returned to seek you.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro}
 192  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> What secret hath held you here that you
 193  followed not to Leonato's?
 194  <S BENEDICK> I would your grace would constrain me to tell.
 195  <S DON PEDRO> I charge thee on thy allegiance.
 196  <S BENEDICK> You hear, Count Claudio? I can be secret as a
 197  dumb man, I would have you think so. But on my
 198  allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance! He is in
 199  love. With who? Now that is your grace's part. Mark
 200  how short his answer is: with Hero, Leonato's short
 201  daughter.
 202  <S CLAUDIO> If this were so, so were it uttered.
 203  <S BENEDICK> Like the old tale, my lord_it is not so, nor
 204  'twas not so, but indeed, God forbid it should be so.
 205  <S CLAUDIO> If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it
 206  should be otherwise.
 207  <S DON PEDRO> Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very
 208  well worthy.
 209  <S CLAUDIO> You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.
 210  <S DON PEDRO> By my troth, I speak my thought.
 211  <S CLAUDIO> And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.
 212  <S BENEDICK> And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I
 213  spoke mine.
 214  <S CLAUDIO> That I love her, I feel.
 215  <S DON PEDRO> That she is worthy, I know.
 216  <S BENEDICK> That I neither feel how she should be loved nor
 217  know how she should be worthy is the opinion that
 218  fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the stake.
 219  <S DON PEDRO> Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the
 220  despite of beauty.
 221  <S CLAUDIO> And never could maintain his part but in the
 222  force of his will.
 223  <S BENEDICK> That a woman conceived me, I thank her. That
 224  she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble
 225  thanks. But that I will have a recheat winded in my
 226  forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldric, all
 227  women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them
 228  the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right
 229  to trust none. And the fine is_for the which I may go
 230  the finer_I will live a bachelor.
 231  <S DON PEDRO> I shall see thee ere I die look pale with love.
 232  <S BENEDICK> With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my
 233  lord; not with love. Prove that ever I lose more blood
 234  with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out
 235  mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me up
 236  at the door of a brothel house for the sign of blind
 237  Cupid.
 238  <S DON PEDRO> Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith thou
 239  wilt prove a notable argument.
 240  <S BENEDICK> If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot
 241  at me, and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the
 242  shoulder and called Adam.
 243  <S DON PEDRO> Well, as time shall try. `In time the savage
 244  bull doth bear the yoke."
 245  <S BENEDICK> The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible
 246  Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them
 247  in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted, and in
 248  such great letters as they write `Here is good horse to
 249  hire" let them signify under my sign `Here you may see
 250  Benedick, the married man".
 251  <S CLAUDIO> If this should ever happen thou wouldst be horn-
 252  mad.
 253  <S DON PEDRO> Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in
 254  Venice thou wilt quake for this shortly.
 255  <S BENEDICK> I look for an earthquake too, then.
 256  <S DON PEDRO> Well, you will temporize with the hours. In
 257  the mean time, good Signor Benedick, repair to
 258  Leonato's, commend me to him, and tell him I will not
 259  fail him at supper, for indeed he hath made great
 260  preparation.
 261  <S BENEDICK> I have almost matter enough in me for such an
 262  embassage. And so I commit you_
 263  <S CLAUDIO> To the tuition of God, from my house if I had
 264  it_
 265  <S DON PEDRO> The sixth of July,
 266  Your loving friend,
 267  Benedick.
 268  <S BENEDICK> Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your
 269  discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the
 270  guards are but slightly basted on neither. Ere you flout
 271  old ends any further, examine your conscience. And
 272  so I leave you.<T esd> {Exit}
 273  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> My liege, your highness now may do me good.
 274  <S DON PEDRO> My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how
 275  And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
 276  Any hard lesson that may do thee good.
 277  <S CLAUDIO> Hath Leonato any son, my lord?
 278  <S DON PEDRO> No child but Hero. She's his only heir.
 279B Dost thou affect her, Claudio?<S CLAUDIO> O my lord,
 280  When you went onward on this ended action
 281  I looked upon her with a soldier's eye,
 282  That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
 283  Than to drive liking to the name of love.
 284  But now I am returned, and that war-thoughts
 285  Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
 286  Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
 287  All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
 288  Saying I liked her ere I went to wars.
 289  <S DON PEDRO> Thou wilt be like a lover presently,
 290  And tire the hearer with a book of words.
 291  If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
 292  And I will break with her, and with her father,
 293  And thou shalt have her. Was 't not to this end
 294  That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?
 295  <S CLAUDIO> How sweetly you do minister to love,
 296  That know love's grief by his complexion!
 297  But lest my liking might too sudden seem
 298  I would have salved it with a longer treatise.
 299  <S DON PEDRO> What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
 300  The fairest grant is the necessity.
 301  Look what will serve is fit. 'Tis once: thou lovest,
 302  And I will fit thee with the remedy.
 303  I know we shall have revelling tonight.
 304  I will assume thy part in some disguise,
 305  And tell fair Hero I am Claudio.
 306  And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart
 307  And take her hearing prisoner with the force
 308  And strong encounter of my amorous tale.
 309  Then after to her father will I break,
 310  And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.
 311  In practice let us put it presently.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 2> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato and Antonio, an old man brother to          +
   0  Leonato, severally}
   1  <S LEONATO> <T prose> How now, brother, where is my cousin, your
   2  son? Hath he provided this music?
   3  <S ANTONIO> He is very busy about it. But brother, I can tell
   4  you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.
   5  <S LEONATO> Are they good?
   6  <S ANTONIO> As the event stamps them. But they have a good
   7  cover, they show well outward. The Prince and Count
   8  Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine
   9  orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine:
  10  the Prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my niece,
  11  your daughter, and meant to acknowledge it this night
  12  in a dance, and if he found her accordant he meant to
  13  take the present time by the top and instantly break
  14  with you of it.
  15  <S LEONATO> Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?
  16  <S ANTONIO> A good sharp fellow. I will send for him, and
  17  question him yourself.
  18  <S LEONATO> No, no. We will hold it as a dream till it appear
  19  itself. But I will acquaint my daughter withal, that
  20  she may be the better prepared for an answer if
  21  peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it.<T dsd> {[Enter     +
  21  attendants]}
  22  <T prose> Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you
  23  mercy, friend. Go you with me and I will use your
  24  skill._Good cousin, have a care this busy time.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 3> <T dsd> {Enter Don John the bastard and Conrad, his companion}
   1  <S CONRAD> <T prose> What the goodyear, my lord, why are you thus
   2  out of measure sad?
   3  <S DON JOHN> There is no measure in the occasion that breeds
   4  it, therefore the sadness is without limit.
   5  <S CONRAD> You should hear reason.
   6  <S DON JOHN> And when I have heard it, what blessing brings
   7  it?
   8  <S CONRAD> If not a present remedy, at least a patient
   9  sufferance.
  10  <S DON JOHN> I wonder that thou_being, as thou sayst thou
  11  art, born under Saturn_goest about to apply a moral
  12  medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what
  13  I am. I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at
  14  no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for
  15  no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend
  16  on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and
  17  claw no man in his humour.
  18  <S CONRAD> Yea, but you must not make the full show of this
  19  till you may do it without controlment. You have of
  20  late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en
  21  you newly into his grace, where it is impossible you
  22  should take true root but by the fair weather that you
  23  make yourself. It is needful that you frame the season
  24  for your own harvest.
  25  <S DON JOHN> I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a
  26  rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be
  27  disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love
  28  from any. In this, though I cannot be said to be a
  29  flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am
  30  a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and
  31  enfranchised with a clog. Therefore I have decreed not
  32  to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth I would bite. If
  33  I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean
  34  time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.
  35  <S CONRAD> Can you make no use of your discontent?
  36  <S DON JOHN> I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who
  37  comes here?<T dsd> {Enter Borachio}
  38  <T prose> What news, Borachio?
  39  <S BORACHIO> I came yonder from a great supper. The Prince
  40  your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I
  41  can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.
  42  <S DON JOHN> Will it serve for any model to build mischief
  43  on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to
  44  unquietness?
  45  <S BORACHIO> Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
  46  <S DON JOHN> Who, the most exquisite Claudio?
  47  <S BORACHIO> Even he.
  48  <S DON JOHN> A proper squire. And who, and who? Which
  49  way looks he?
  50  <S BORACHIO> Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of
  51  Leonato.
  52  <S DON JOHN> A very forward March chick. How came you
  53  to this?
  54  <S BORACHIO> Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was
  55  smoking a musty room comes me the Prince and
  56  Claudio hand in hand, in sad conference. I whipped
  57  me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon
  58  that the Prince should woo Hero for himself and, having
  59  obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.
  60  <S DON JOHN> Come, come, let us thither. This may prove
  61  food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all
  62  the glory of my overthrow. If I can cross him any way
  63  I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will
  64  assist me?
  65  <S CONRAD> To the death, my lord.
  66  <S DON JOHN> Let us to the great supper. Their cheer is the
  67  greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were o' my
  68  mind. Shall we go prove what's to be done?
  69  <S BORACHIO> We'll wait upon your lordship.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <X 2> <Y 1> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato, Antonio his brother, Hero his        +
   0  daughter, Beatrice his niece, [Margaret, and Ursula]}
   1  <S LEONATO> <T prose> Was not Count John here at supper?
   2  <S ANTONIO> I saw him not.
   3  <S BEATRICE> How tartly that gentleman looks. I never can
   4  see him but I am heartburned an hour after.
   5  <S HERO> He is of a very melancholy disposition.
   6  <S BEATRICE> He were an excellent man that were made just
   7  in the midway between him and Benedick. The one is
   8  too like an image and says nothing, and the other too
   9  like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling.
  10  <S LEONATO> Then half Signor Benedick's tongue in Count
  11  John's mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in
  12  Signor Benedick's face_
  13  <S BEATRICE> With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and
  14  money enough in his purse_such a man would win
  15  any woman in the world, if a could get her good will.
  16  <S LEONATO> By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a
  17  husband if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
  18  <S ANTONIO> In faith, she's too curst.
  19  <S BEATRICE> Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God's
  20  sending that way, for it is said God sends a curst cow
  21  short horns, but to a cow too curst he sends none.
  22  <S LEONATO> So, by being too curst, God will send you no
  23  horns.
  24  <S BEATRICE> Just, if he send me no husband, for the which
  25  blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning
  26  and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with
  27  a beard on his face. I had rather lie in the woollen.
  28  <S LEONATO> You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
  29  <S BEATRICE> What should I do with him_dress him in my
  30  apparel and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He
  31  that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that
  32  hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is more
  33  than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a
  34  man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even take
  35  sixpence in earnest of the bearherd and lead his apes
  36  into hell.
  37  <S LEONATO> Well then, go you into hell?
  38  <S BEATRICE> No, but to the gate, and there will the devil
  39  meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his head,
  40  and say, `Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to
  41  heaven. Here's no place for you maids." So deliver I up
  42  my apes and away to Saint Peter fore the heavens. He
  43  shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we
  44  as merry as the day is long.
  45  <S ANTONIO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Well, niece, I trust you will   +
  45  be ruled
  46  by your father.
  47  <S BEATRICE> Yes, faith, it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy
  48  and say, `Father, as it please you." But yet for all that,
  49  cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make
  50  another curtsy and say, `Father, as it please me."
  51  <S LEONATO> Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted
  52  with a husband.
  53  <S BEATRICE> Not till God make men of some other mettle
  54  than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be
  55  overmastered with a piece of valiant dust?_to make
  56  an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No,
  57  uncle, I'll none. Adam's sons are my brethren, and
  58  truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
  59  <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Daughter, remember what I told  +
  59  you.
  60  If the Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your
  61  answer.
  62  <S BEATRICE> The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be
  63  not wooed in good time. If the Prince be too important,
  64  tell him there is measure in everything, and so dance
  65  out the answer. For hear me, Hero, wooing, wedding,
  66  and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a
  67  cinquepace. The first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch
  68  jig_and full as fantastical; the wedding mannerly
  69  modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry. And
  70  then comes repentance, and with his bad legs falls into
  71  the cinquepace faster and faster till he sink into his
  72  grave.
  73  <S LEONATO> Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.
  74  <S BEATRICE> I have a good eye, uncle. I can see a church by
  75  daylight.
  76  <S LEONATO> The revellers are entering, brother. Make good
  77  room.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Balthasar, all     +
  77  masked, Don John, and Borachio, [with a drummer]}
  78  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Lady, will you walk a bout    +
  78  with your
  79  friend?
  80  <S HERO> So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say
  81  nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when
  82  I walk away.
  83  <S DON PEDRO> With me in your company?
  84  <S HERO> I may say so when I please.
  85  <S DON PEDRO> And when please you to say so?
  86  <S HERO> When I like your favour; for God defend the lute
  87  should be like the case.
  88  <S DON PEDRO> <T verse> My visor is Philemon's roof. Within the house    +
  88  is Jove.
  89B <S HERO> Why, then, your visor should be thatched.<S DON PEDRO> Speak    +
  89B low if you speak love.<T dsd> {They move aside}
  90  <S [BALTHASAR]> <T asd> {(to Margaret)}<T prose> Well, I would you did   +
  90  like me.
  91  <S MARGARET> So would not I, for your own sake, for I have
  92  many ill qualities.
  93  <S [BALTHASAR]> Which is one?
  94  <S MARGARET> I say my prayers aloud.
  95  <S [BALTHASAR]> I love you the better_the hearers may cry
  96  amen.
  97  <S MARGARET> God match me with a good dancer.
  98  <S BALTHASAR> Amen.
  99  <S MARGARET> And God keep him out of my sight when the
 100  dance is done. Answer, clerk.
 101  <S BALTHASAR> No more words. The clerk is answered.<T dsd> {They move    +
 101  aside}
 102  <S URSULA> <T asd> {(to Antonio)}<T prose> I know you well enough, you   +
 102  are
 103  Signor Antonio.
 104  <S ANTONIO> At a word, I am not.
 105  <S URSULA> I know you by the waggling of your head.
 106  <S ANTONIO> To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
 107  <S URSULA> You could never do him so ill-well unless you
 108  were the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down.
 109  You are he, you are he.
 110  <S ANTONIO> At a word, I am not.
 111  <S URSULA> Come, come, do you think I do not know you by
 112  your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum,
 113  you are he. Graces will appear, and there's an end.<T dsd> {They move    +
 113  aside}
 114  <S BEATRICE> <T asd> {(to Benedick)}<T prose> Will you not tell me who   +
 114  told you
 115  so?
 116  <S BENEDICK> No, you shall pardon me.
 117  <S BEATRICE> Nor will you not tell me who you are?
 118  <S BENEDICK> Not now.
 119  <S BEATRICE> That I was disdainful, and that I had my good
 120  wit out of the Hundred Merry Tales_well, this was
 121  Signor Benedick that said so.
 122  <S BENEDICK> What's he?
 123  <S BEATRICE> I am sure you know him well enough.
 124  <S BENEDICK> Not I, believe me.
 125  <S BEATRICE> Did he never make you laugh?
 126  <S BENEDICK> I pray you, what is he?
 127  <S BEATRICE> Why, he is the Prince's jester, a very dull fool.
 128  Only his gift is in devising impossible slanders. None
 129  but libertines delight in him, and the commendation is
 130  not in his wit but in his villainy, for he both pleases
 131  men and angers them, and then they laugh at him,
 132  and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet. I would he
 133  had boarded me.
 134  <S BENEDICK> When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what
 135  you say.
 136  <S BEATRICE> Do, do. He'll but break a comparison or two on
 137  me, which peradventure not marked, or not laughed
 138  at, strikes him into melancholy, and then there's a
 139  partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper
 140  that night.<T dsd> {[Music]}
 141  <T prose> We must follow the leaders.
 142  <S BENEDICK> In every good thing.
 143  <S BEATRICE> Nay, if they lead to any ill I will leave them at
 144  the next turning.<T dsd> {Dance. Exeunt all but Don John, Borachio, and  +
 144  Claudio}
 145  <S DON JOHN> <T asd> {(aside to Borachio)}<T prose> Sure my brother is   +
 145  amorous
 146  on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with
 147  him about it. The ladies follow her, and but one visor
 148  remains.
 149  <S BORACHIO> <T asd> {(aside to Don John)}<T prose> And that is          +
 149  Claudio. I know
 150  him by his bearing.
 151  <S DON JOHN> Are not you Signor Benedick?
 152  <S CLAUDIO> You know me well. I am he.
 153  <S DON JOHN> Signor, you are very near my brother in his
 154  love. He is enamoured on Hero. I pray you dissuade
 155  him from her. She is no equal for his birth. You may
 156  do the part of an honest man in it.
 157  <S CLAUDIO> How know you he loves her?
 158  <S DON JOHN> I heard him swear his affection.
 159  <S BORACHIO> So did I, too, and he swore he would marry
 160  her tonight.
 161  <S DON JOHN> Come, let us to the banquet.<T esd> {Exeunt all but         +
 161  Claudio}
 162  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> Thus answer I in name of Benedick,
 163  But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
 164  'Tis certain so, the Prince woos for himself.
 165  Friendship is constant in all other things
 166  Save in the office and affairs of love.
 167  Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.
 168  Let every eye negotiate for itself,
 169  And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
 170  Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
 171  This is an accident of hourly proof,
 172  Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero.<T dsd> {Enter         +
 172  Benedick}
 173  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Count Claudio?
 174  <S CLAUDIO> Yea, the same.
 175  <S BENEDICK> Come, will you go with me?
 176  <S CLAUDIO> Whither?
 177  <S BENEDICK> Even to the next willow, about your own
 178  business, County. What fashion will you wear the
 179  garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain?
 180  Or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must
 181  wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.
 182  <S CLAUDIO> I wish him joy of her.
 183  <S BENEDICK> Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so
 184  they sell bullocks. But did you think the Prince would
 185  have served you thus?
 186  <S CLAUDIO> I pray you leave me.
 187  <S BENEDICK> Ho, now you strike like the blind man_'twas
 188  the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.
 189  <S CLAUDIO> If it will not be, I'll leave you.<T esd> {Exit}
 190  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into
 191  sedges. But that my Lady Beatrice should know me,
 192  and not know me! The Prince's fool! Ha, it may be I
 193  go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I
 194  am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so reputed. It is
 195  the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice that puts
 196  the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well,
 197  I'll be revenged as I may.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro the Prince}
 198  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> Now, signor, where's the Count? Did you see
 199  him?
 200  <S BENEDICK> Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady
 201  Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a
 202  warren. I told him_and I think I told him true_that
 203  your grace had got the good will of this young lady,
 204  and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either
 205  to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind
 206  him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped.
 207  <S DON PEDRO> To be whipped_what's his fault?
 208  <S BENEDICK> The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being
 209  overjoyed with finding a bird's nest, shows it his
 210  companion, and he steals it.
 211  <S DON PEDRO> Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The
 212  transgression is in the stealer.
 213  <S BENEDICK> Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been
 214  made, and the garland too, for the garland he might
 215  have worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed
 216  on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his bird's nest.
 217  <S DON PEDRO> I will but teach them to sing, and restore them
 218  to the owner.
 219  <S BENEDICK> If their singing answer your saying, by my faith
 220  you say honestly.
 221  <S DON PEDRO> The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The
 222  gentleman that danced with her told her she is much
 223  wronged by you.
 224  <S BENEDICK> O, she misused me past the endurance of a
 225  block. An oak but with one green leaf on it would have
 226  answered her. My very visor began to assume life and
 227  scold with her. She told me_not thinking I had been
 228  myself_that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller
 229  than a great thaw, huddling jest upon jest with such
 230  impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man
 231  at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She
 232  speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath
 233  were as terrible as her terminations, there were no
 234  living near her, she would infect to the North Star. I
 235  would not marry her though she were endowed with
 236  all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She
 237  would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and
 238  have cleft his club to make the fire, too. Come, talk not
 239  of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good
 240  apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure
 241  her, for certainly, while she is here a man may live as
 242  quiet in hell as in a sanctuary, and people sin upon
 243  purpose because they would go thither, so indeed all
 244  disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.<T dsd> {Enter Claudio    +
 244  and Beatrice, [and Leonato with Hero]}
 245  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> Look, here she comes.
 246  <S BENEDICK> Will your grace command me any service to
 247  the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now
 248  to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on. I
 249  will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest
 250  inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John's
 251  foot, fetch you a hair off the Great Cham's beard, do
 252  you any embassage to the pigmies, rather than hold
 253  three words' conference with this harpy. You have no
 254  employment for me?
 255  <S DON PEDRO> None but to desire your good company.
 256  <S BENEDICK> O God, sir, here's a dish I love not. I cannot
 257  endure my Lady Tongue.<T esd> {Exit}
 258  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> Come, lady, come, you have lost the heart of
 259  Signor Benedick.
 260  <S BEATRICE> Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while, and I
 261  gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one.
 262  Marry, once before he won it of me, with false dice.
 263  Therefore your grace may well say I have lost it.
 264  <S DON PEDRO> You have put him down, lady, you have put
 265  him down.
 266  <S BEATRICE> So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest
 267  I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought
 268  Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek.
 269  <S DON PEDRO> Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you
 270  sad?
 271  <S CLAUDIO> Not sad, my lord.
 272  <S DON PEDRO> How then? Sick?
 273  <S CLAUDIO> Neither, my lord.
 274  <S BEATRICE> The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry,
 275  nor well, but civil count, civil as an orange, and
 276  something of that jealous complexion.
 277  <S DON PEDRO> I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true,
 278  though I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false.
 279  Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair
 280  Hero is won. I have broke with her father and his good
 281  will obtained. Name the day of marriage, and God give
 282  thee joy.
 283  <S LEONATO> Count, take of me my daughter, and with her
 284  my fortunes. His grace hath made the match, and all
 285  grace say amen to it.
 286  <S BEATRICE> Speak, Count, 'tis your cue.
 287  <S CLAUDIO> Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but
 288  little happy if I could say how much.<T asd> {(To Hero)}<T prose> Lady,
 289  as you are mine, I am yours. I give away myself for
 290  you, and dote upon the exchange.
 291  <S BEATRICE> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Speak, cousin. Or, if you      +
 291  cannot, stop
 292  his mouth with a kiss, and let not him speak, neither.
 293  <S DON PEDRO> In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
 294  <S BEATRICE> Yea, my lord, I thank it. Poor fool, it keeps on
 295  the windy side of care._My cousin tells him in his ear
 296  that he is in her heart.
 297  <S CLAUDIO> And so she doth, cousin.
 298  <S BEATRICE> Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes everyone to
 299  the world but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a
 300  corner and cry `Heigh-ho for a husband".
 301  <S DON PEDRO> Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
 302  <S BEATRICE> I would rather have one of your father's getting.
 303  Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father
 304  got excellent husbands if a maid could come by them.
 305  <S DON PEDRO> Will you have me, lady?
 306  <S BEATRICE> No, my lord, unless I might have another for
 307  working days. Your grace is too costly to wear every
 308  day. But I beseech your grace, pardon me. I was born
 309  to speak all mirth and no matter.
 310  <S DON PEDRO> Your silence most offends me, and to be merry
 311  best becomes you; for out o' question, you were born
 312  in a merry hour.
 313  <S BEATRICE> No, sure, my lord, my mother cried. But then
 314  there was a star danced, and under that was I born.
 315  <T asd> {(To Hero and Claudio)}<T prose> Cousins, God give you joy.
 316  <S LEONATO> Niece, will you look to those things I told you
 317  of?
 318  <S BEATRICE> I cry you mercy, uncle.<T asd> {(To Don Pedro)}<T prose>    +
 318  By your
 319  grace's pardon.<T esd> {Exit Beatrice}
 320  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
 321  <S LEONATO> There's little of the melancholy element in her,
 322  my lord. She is never sad but when she sleeps, and not
 323  ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say she
 324  hath often dreamt of unhappiness and waked herself
 325  with laughing.
 326  <S DON PEDRO> She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
 327  <S LEONATO> O, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out
 328  of suit.
 329  <S DON PEDRO> She were an excellent wife for Benedick.
 330  <S LEONATO> O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married
 331  they would talk themselves mad.
 332  <S DON PEDRO> County Claudio, when mean you to go to
 333  church?
 334  <S CLAUDIO> Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till
 335  love have all his rites.
 336  <S LEONATO> Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence
 337  a just sevennight, and a time too brief, too, to have all
 338  things answer my mind.
 339  <S DON PEDRO> Come, you shake the head at so long a
 340  breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall
 341  not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one
 342  of Hercules' labours, which is to bring Signor Benedick
 343  and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection
 344  th' one with th' other. I would fain have it a match, and
 345  I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but
 346  minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.
 347  <S LEONATO> My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten
 348  nights' watchings.
 349  <S CLAUDIO> And I, my lord.
 350  <S DON PEDRO> And you too, gentle Hero?
 351  <S HERO> I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my
 352  cousin to a good husband.
 353  <S DON PEDRO> And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband
 354  that I know. Thus far can I praise him: he is of a noble
 355  strain, of approved valour and confirmed honesty. I
 356  will teach you how to humour your cousin that she
 357  shall fall in love with Benedick, and I, with your two
 358  helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in despite of
 359  his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in
 360  love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer
 361  an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only
 362  love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 2> <T dsd> {Enter Don John and Borachio}
   1  <S DON JOHN> <T prose> It is so. The Count Claudio shall marry the
   2  daughter of Leonato.
   3  <S BORACHIO> Yea, my lord, but I can cross it.
   4  <S DON JOHN> Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be
   5  medicinable to me. I am sick in displeasure to him, and
   6  whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly
   7  with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage?
   8  <S BORACHIO> Not honestly, my lord, but so covertly that no
   9  dishonesty shall appear in me.
  10  <S DON JOHN> Show me briefly how.
  11  <S BORACHIO> I think I told your lordship a year since how
  12  much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting
  13  gentlewoman to Hero.
  14  <S DON JOHN> I remember.
  15  <S BORACHIO> I can at any unseasonable instant of the night
  16  appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window.
  17  <S DON JOHN> What life is in that to be the death of this
  18  marriage?
  19  <S BORACHIO> The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go
  20  you to the Prince your brother. Spare not to tell him
  21  that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the
  22  renowned Claudio_whose estimation do you mightily
  23  hold up_to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.
  24  <S DON JOHN> What proof shall I make of that?
  25  <S BORACHIO> Proof enough to misuse the Prince, to vex
  26  Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato. Look you for
  27  any other issue?
  28  <S DON JOHN> Only to despite them I will endeavour anything.
  29  <S BORACHIO> Go then. Find me a meet hour to draw Don
  30  Pedro and the Count Claudio alone. Tell them that you
  31  know that Hero loves me. Intend a kind of zeal both
  32  to the Prince and Claudio as in love of your brother's
  33  honour who hath made this match, and his friend's
  34  reputation who is thus like to be cozened with the
  35  semblance of a maid, that you have discovered thus.
  36  They will scarcely believe this without trial. Offer them
  37  instances, which shall bear no less likelihood than to
  38  see me at her chamber window, hear me call Margaret
  39  Hero, hear Margaret term me Claudio. And bring them
  40  to see this the very night before the intended wedding,
  41  for in the mean time I will so fashion the matter that
  42  Hero shall be absent, and there shall appear such
  43  seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall
  44  be called assurance, and all the preparation overthrown.
  44
  46  <S DON JOHN> Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will
  47  put it in practice. Be cunning in the working this, and
  48  thy fee is a thousand ducats.
  49  <S BORACHIO> Be you constant in the accusation, and my
  50  cunning shall not shame me.
  51  <S DON JOHN> I will presently go learn their day of marriage.<T esd>     +
  51  {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 3> <T dsd> {Enter Benedick}
   1  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Boy!<T dsd> {[Enter Boy]}
   2  <S BOY> <T prose> Signor?
   3  <S BENEDICK> In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it
   4  hither to me in the orchard.
   5  <S BOY> I am here already, sir.
   6  <S BENEDICK> I know that, but I would have thee hence and
   7  here again.<T esd> {[Exit Boy]}
   8  <T prose> I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much
   9  another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours
  10  to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow
  11  follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn
  12  by falling in love. And such a man is Claudio. I have
  13  known when there was no music with him but the
  14  drum and the fife, and now had he rather hear the
  15  tabor and the pipe. I have known when he would have
  16  walked ten mile afoot to see a good armour, and now
  17  will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a
  18  new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the
  19  purpose, like an honest man and a soldier, and now is
  20  he turned orthography. His words are a very fantastical
  21  banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so
  22  converted, and see with these eyes? I cannot tell. I
  23  think not. I will not be sworn but love may transform
  24  me to an oyster, but I'll take my oath on it, till he
  25  have made an oyster of me he shall never make me
  26  such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well. Another
  27  is wise, yet I am well. Another virtuous, yet I am well.
  28  But till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall
  29  not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain.
  30  Wise, or I'll none. Virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her.
  31  Fair, or I'll never look on her. Mild, or come not near
  32  me. Noble, or not I for an angel. Of good discourse, an
  33  excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour
  34  it please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love. I
  35  will hide me in the arbour.<T dsd> {He hides.}
  36  {Enter Don Pedro the Prince, Leonato, and Claudio}<S DON PEDRO>          +
  36  <T prose> Come, shall we hear this music?
  37  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
  38  As hushed on purpose to grace harmony.
  39  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T verse> See you where Benedick hath     +
  39  hid himself?
  40  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T verse> O, very well, my lord. The music  +
  40  ended,
  41  We'll fit the hid-fox with a pennyworth.<T dsd> {Enter Balthasar with    +
  41  music}
  42  <S DON PEDRO> <T verse> Come, Balthasar, we'll hear that song again.
  43  <S BALTHASAR> O good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
  44  To slander music any more than once.
  45  <S DON PEDRO> It is the witness still of excellency
  46  To put a strange face on his own perfection.
  47  I pray thee sing, and let me woo no more.
  48  <S BALTHASAR> Because you talk of wooing I will sing,
  49  Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
  50  To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
  51B Yet will he swear he loves.<S DON PEDRO> Nay pray thee, come;
  52  Or if thou wilt hold longer argument,
  53B Do it in notes.<S BALTHASAR> Note this before my notes:
  54  There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting.
  55  <S DON PEDRO> Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks_
  56  Note notes, forsooth, and nothing!<T dsd> {The accompaniment begins}
  57  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Now, divine air! Now is his soul ravished. Is it
  58  not strange that sheep's guts should hale souls out of
  59  men's bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all's
  60  done.
  61  <S BALTHASAR> <T asd> {(sings)}<T song> Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no    +
  61  more.
  62  Men were deceivers ever,
  63  One foot in sea, and one on shore,
  64  To one thing constant never.
  65  Then sigh not so, but let them go,
  66  And be you blithe and bonny,
  67  Converting all your sounds of woe
  68  Into hey nonny, nonny.
  69  Sing no more ditties, sing no more
  70  Of dumps so dull and heavy.
  71  The fraud of men was ever so
  72  Since summer first was leafy.
  73  Then sigh not so, but let them go,
  74  And be you blithe and bonny,
  75  Converting all your sounds of woe
  76  Into hey nonny, nonny.
  77  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> By my troth, a good song.
  78  <S BALTHASAR> And an ill singer, my lord.
  79  <S DON PEDRO> Ha, no, no, faith. Thou singest well enough
  80  for a shift.
  81  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> An he had been a dog that        +
  81  should have
  82  howled thus, they would have hanged him; and I pray
  83  God his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have
  84  heard the night-raven, come what plague could have
  85  come after it.
  86  <S DON PEDRO> Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray
  87  thee get us some excellent music, for tomorrow night
  88  we would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber window.
  89  <S BALTHASAR> The best I can, my lord.<T esd> {Exit}
  90  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> Do so. Farewell. Come hither, Leonato. What
  91  was it you told me of today, that your niece Beatrice
  92  was in love with Signor Benedick?
  93  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> O, ay, stalk on, stalk on. The    +
  93  fowl sits._
  94  I did never think that lady would have loved any man.
  95  <S LEONATO> No, nor I neither. But most wonderful that she
  96  should so dote on Signor Benedick, whom she hath in
  97  all outward behaviours seemed ever to abhor.
  98  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> Is 't possible? Sits the wind    +
  98  in that corner?
  99  <S LEONATO> By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to
 100  think of it. But that she loves him with an enraged
 101  affection, it is past the infinite of thought.
 102  <S DON PEDRO> Maybe she doth but counterfeit.
 103  <S CLAUDIO> Faith, like enough.
 104  <S LEONATO> O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit
 105  of passion came so near the life of passion as she
 106  discovers it.
 107  <S DON PEDRO> Why, what effects of passion shows she?
 108  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> Bait the hook well. This fish     +
 108  will bite.
 109  <S LEONATO> What effects, my lord? She will sit you_you
 110  heard my daughter tell you how.
 111  <S CLAUDIO> She did indeed.
 112  <S DON PEDRO> How, how, I pray you? You amaze me. I
 113  would have thought her spirit had been invincible
 114  against all assaults of affection.
 115  <S LEONATO> I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially
 116  against Benedick.
 117  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> I should think this a gull, but  +
 117  that the
 118  white-bearded fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure,
 119  hide himself in such reverence.
 120  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> He hath ta'en th' infection.      +
 120  Hold it up.
 121  <S DON PEDRO> Hath she made her affection known to
 122  Benedick?
 123  <S LEONATO> No, and swears she never will. That's her
 124  torment.
 125  <S CLAUDIO> 'Tis true, indeed, so your daughter says. `Shall
 126  I," says she, `that have so oft encountered him with
 127  scorn, write to him that I love him?"
 128  <S LEONATO> This says she now when she is beginning to
 129  write to him, for she'll be up twenty times a night, and
 130  there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a sheet
 131  of paper. My daughter tells us all.
 132  <S CLAUDIO> Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a
 133  pretty jest your daughter told us of.
 134  <S LEONATO> O, when she had writ it and was reading it over,
 135  she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet.
 136  <S CLAUDIO> That.
 137  <S LEONATO> O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence,
 138  railed at herself that she should be so immodest to
 139  write to one that she knew would flout her. `I measure
 140  him," says she, `by my own spirit, for I should flout
 141  him if he writ to me, yea, though I love him I should."
 142  <S CLAUDIO> Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps,
 143  sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses, `O
 144  sweet Benedick, God give me patience."
 145  <S LEONATO> She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the
 146  ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter
 147  is sometime afeard she will do a desperate outrage to
 148  herself. It is very true.
 149  <S DON PEDRO> It were good that Benedick knew of it by some
 150  other, if she will not discover it.
 151  <S CLAUDIO> To what end? He would make but a sport of it
 152  and torment the poor lady worse.
 153  <S DON PEDRO> An he should, it were an alms to hang him.
 154  She's an excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion,
 155  she is virtuous.
 156  <S CLAUDIO> And she is exceeding wise.
 157  <S DON PEDRO> In everything but in loving Benedick.
 158  <S LEONATO> O my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so
 159  tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood
 160  hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just
 161  cause, being her uncle and her guardian.
 162  <S DON PEDRO> I would she had bestowed this dotage on me.
 163  I would have doffed all other respects and made her
 164  half myself. I pray you tell Benedick of it, and hear
 165  what a will say.
 166  <S LEONATO> Were it good, think you?
 167  <S CLAUDIO> Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she
 168  will die if he love her not, and she will die ere she
 169  make her love known, and she will die if he woo her,
 170  rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed
 171  crossness.
 172  <S DON PEDRO> She doth well. If she should make tender of
 173  her love 'tis very possible he'll scorn it, for the man,
 174  as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit.
 175  <S CLAUDIO> He is a very proper man.
 176  <S DON PEDRO> He hath indeed a good outward happiness.
 177  <S CLAUDIO> Before God; and in my mind, very wise.
 178  <S DON PEDRO> He doth indeed show some sparks that are
 179  like wit.
 180  <S CLAUDIO> And I take him to be valiant.
 181  <S DON PEDRO> As Hector, I assure you; and in the managing
 182  of quarrels you may say he is wise, for either he avoids
 183  them with great discretion or undertakes them with a
 184  most Christianlike fear.
 185  <S LEONATO> If he do fear God, a must necessarily keep peace.
 186  If he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel
 187  with fear and trembling.
 188  <S DON PEDRO> And so will he do, for the man doth fear God,
 189  howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he
 190  will make. Well, I am sorry for your niece. Shall we
 191  go seek Benedick and tell him of her love?
 192  <S CLAUDIO> Never tell him, my lord. Let her wear it out with
 193  good counsel.
 194  <S LEONATO> Nay, that's impossible. She may wear her heart
 195  out first.
 196  <S DON PEDRO> Well, we will hear further of it by your
 197  daughter. Let it cool the while. I love Benedick well,
 198  and I could wish he would modestly examine himself
 199  to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady.
 200  <S LEONATO> My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.
 201  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> If he do not dote on her upon     +
 201  this, I will
 202  never trust my expectation.
 203  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> Let there be the same net       +
 203  spread for
 204  her, and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen
 205  carry. The sport will be when they hold one an opinion
 206  of another's dotage, and no such matter. That's the
 207  scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb
 208  show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner.<T esd> {Exeunt Don       +
 208  Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato}
 209  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(coming forward)}<T prose> This can be no trick.   +
 209  The
 210  conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of
 211  this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady. It seems
 212  her affections have their full bent. Love me! Why, it
 213  must be requited. I hear how I am censured. They say
 214  I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come
 215  from her. They say too that she will rather die than
 216  give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry.
 217  I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear their
 218  detractions and can put them to mending. They say
 219  the lady is fair. 'Tis a truth, I can bear them witness.
 220  And virtuous_'tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise,
 221  but for loving me. By my troth, it is no addition to her
 222  wit_nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be
 223  horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd
 224  quirks and remnants of wit broken on me because I
 225  have railed so long against marriage; but doth not the
 226  appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that
 227  he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences
 228  and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from
 229  the career of his humour? No. The world must be
 230  peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not
 231  think I should live till I were married. Here comes
 232  Beatrice.<T dsd> {Enter Beatrice}
 233  <T prose> By this day, she's a fair lady. I do spy some marks of
 234  love in her.
 235  <S BEATRICE> Against my will I am sent to bid you come in
 236  to dinner.
 237  <S BENEDICK> <T verse> Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.
 238  <S BEATRICE> <T prose> I took no more pains for those thanks than you
 239  take pains to thank me. If it had been painful I would
 240  not have come.
 241  <S BENEDICK> You take pleasure, then, in the message?
 242  <S BEATRICE> Yea, just so much as you may take upon a
 243  knife's point and choke a daw withal. You have no
 244  stomach, signor? Fare you well.<T esd> {Exit}
 245  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Ha! `Against my will I am sent to bid you come
 246  in to dinner." There's a double meaning in that. `I took
 247  no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to
 248  thank me." That's as much as to say `Any pains that I
 249  take for you is as easy as thanks."_If I do not take
 250  pity of her I am a villain. If I do not love her I am a
 251  Jew. I will go get her picture.<T esd> {Exit}
   0  <X 3> <Y 1> <T dsd> {Enter Hero and two gentlewomen, Margaret and        +
   0  Ursula}
   1  <S HERO> <T verse> Good Margaret, run thee to the parlour.
   2  There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice
   3  Proposing with the Prince and Claudio.
   4  Whisper her ear, and tell her I and Ursula
   5  Walk in the orchard, and our whole discourse
   6  Is all of her. Say that thou overheard'st us,
   7  And bid her steal into the pleache\d bower
   8  Where honeysuckles, ripened by the sun,
   9  Forbid the sun to enter_like favourites
  10  Made proud by princes, that advance their pride
  11  Against that power that bred it. There will she hide her
  12  To listen our propose. This is thy office.
  13  Bear thee well in it, and leave us alone.
  14  <S MARGARET> I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently.<T esd>        +
  14  {Exit}
  15  <S HERO> <T verse> Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,
  16  As we do trace this alley up and down
  17  Our talk must only be of Benedick.
  18  When I do name him, let it be thy part
  19  To praise him more than ever man did merit.
  20  My talk to thee must be how Benedick
  21  Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter
  22  Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made,
  23B That only wounds by hearsay.<T dsd> {Enter Beatrice}<T verse> Now        +
  23B begin,
  24  For look where Beatrice like a lapwing runs
  25  Close by the ground to hear our conference.
  26  <S URSULA> The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish
  27  Cut with her golden oars the silver stream
  28  And greedily devour the treacherous bait.
  29  So angle we for Beatrice, who even now
  30  Is couche\d in the woodbine coverture.
  31  Fear you not my part of the dialogue.
  32  <S HERO> Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing
  33  Of the false-sweet bait that we lay for it._<T dsd> {They approach       +
  33  Beatrice's hiding-place}
  34  <T verse> No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful.
  35  I know her spirits are as coy and wild
  36B As haggards of the rock.<S URSULA> But are you sure
  37  That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?
  38  <S HERO> So says the Prince and my new trothe\d lord.
  39  <S URSULA> And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?
  40  <S HERO> They did entreat me to acquaint her of it,
  41  But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick,
  42  To wish him wrestle with affection
  43  And never to let Beatrice know of it.
  44  <S URSULA> Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman
  45  Deserve as full as fortunate a bed
  46  As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?
  47  <S HERO> O god of love! I know he doth deserve
  48  As much as may be yielded to a man.
  49  But nature never framed a woman's heart
  50  Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice.
  51  Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,
  52  Misprising what they look on, and her wit
  53  Values itself so highly that to her
  54  All matter else seems weak. She cannot love,
  55  Nor take no shape nor project of affection,
  56B She is so self-endeare\d.<S URSULA> Sure, I think so.
  57  And therefore certainly it were not good
  58  She knew his love, lest she'll make sport at it.
  59  <S HERO> Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,
  60  How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured,
  61  But she would spell him backward. If fair-faced,
  62  She would swear the gentleman should be her sister.
  63  If black, why nature, drawing of an antic,
  64  Made a foul blot. If tall, a lance ill headed;
  65  If low, an agate very vilely cut;
  66  If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;
  67  If silent, why, a block move\d with none.
  68  So turns she every man the wrong side out,
  69  And never gives to truth and virtue that
  70  Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.
  71  <S URSULA> Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.
  72  <S HERO> No, not to be so odd and from all fashions
  73  As Beatrice is cannot be commendable.
  74  But who dare tell her so? If I should speak
  75  She would mock me into air, O, she would laugh me
  76  Out of myself, press me to death with wit.
  77  Therefore let Benedick, like covered fire,
  78  Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly.
  79  It were a better death than die with mocks,
  80  Which is as bad as die with tickling.
  81  <S URSULA> Yet tell her of it, hear what she will say.
  82  <S HERO> No. Rather I will go to Benedick
  83  And counsel him to fight against his passion.
  84  And truly, I'll devise some honest slanders
  85  To stain my cousin with. One doth not know
  86  How much an ill word may empoison liking.
  87  <S URSULA> O, do not do your cousin such a wrong.
  88  She cannot be so much without true judgement,
  89  Having so swift and excellent a wit
  90  As she is prized to have, as to refuse
  91  So rare a gentleman as Signor Benedick.
  92  <S HERO> He is the only man of Italy,
  93  Always excepted my dear Claudio.
  94  <S URSULA> I pray you be not angry with me, madam,
  95  Speaking my fancy. Signor Benedick,
  96  For shape, for bearing, argument, and valour
  97  Goes foremost in report through Italy.
  98  <S HERO> Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.
  99  <S URSULA> His excellence did earn it ere he had it.
 100  When are you married, madam?
 101  <S HERO> Why, every day, tomorrow. Come, go in.
 102  I'll show thee some attires and have thy counsel
 103  Which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.
 104  <S URSULA> <T asd> {(aside)}<T verse> She's limed, I warrant you. We     +
 104  have caught her, madam.
 105  <S HERO> <T asd> {(aside)}<T verse> If it prove so, then loving goes by  +
 105  haps.
 106  Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.<T esd> {Exeunt Hero and   +
 106  Ursula}
 107  <S BEATRICE> <T asd> {(coming forward)}<T verse> What fire is in mine    +
 107  ears? Can this be true?
 108  Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much?
 109  Contempt, farewell; and maiden pride, adieu.
 110  No glory lives behind the back of such.
 111  And, Benedick, love on. I will requite thee,
 112  Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand.
 113  If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
 114  To bind our loves up in a holy band.
 115  For others say thou dost deserve, and I
 116  Believe it better than reportingly.<T esd> {Exit}
   0  <Y 2> <T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro the Prince, Claudio, Benedick, and        +
   0  Leonato}
   1  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> I do but stay till your marriage be consummate,
   2  and then go I toward Aragon.
   3  <S CLAUDIO> I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe
   4  me.
   5  <S DON PEDRO> Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new
   6  gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat
   7  and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with
   8  Benedick for his company, for from the crown of his
   9  head to the sole of his foot he is all mirth. He hath
  10  twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string, and the little
  11  hangman dare not shoot at him. He hath a heart as
  12  sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper, for what
  13  his heart thinks his tongue speaks.
  14  <S BENEDICK> Gallants, I am not as I have been.
  15  <S LEONATO> So say I. Methinks you are sadder.
  16  <S CLAUDIO> I hope he be in love.
  17  <S DON PEDRO> Hang him, truant! There's no true drop of
  18  blood in him to be truly touched with love. If he be
  19  sad, he wants money.
  20  <S BENEDICK> I have the toothache.
  21  <S DON PEDRO> Draw it.
  22  <S BENEDICK> Hang it.
  23  <S CLAUDIO> You must hang it first and draw it afterwards.
  24  <S DON PEDRO> What? Sigh for the toothache?
  25  <S LEONATO> Where is but a humour or a worm.
  26  <S BENEDICK> Well, everyone can master a grief but he that
  27  has it.
  28  <S CLAUDIO> Yet say I he is in love.
  29  <S DON PEDRO> There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless
  30  it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises, as to
  31  be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow, or in
  32  the shape of two countries at once, as a German from
  33  the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from
  34  the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to
  35  this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for
  36  fancy, as you would have it appear he is.
  37  <S CLAUDIO> If he be not in love with some woman there is
  38  no believing old signs. A brushes his hat o' mornings,
  39  what should that bode?
  40  <S DON PEDRO> Hath any man seen him at the barber's?
  41  <S CLAUDIO> No, but the barber's man hath been seen with
  42  him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already
  43  stuffed tennis balls.
  44  <S LEONATO> Indeed, he looks younger than he did by the
  45  loss of a beard.
  46  <S DON PEDRO> Nay, a rubs himself with civet. Can you smell
  47  him out by that?
  48  <S CLAUDIO> That's as much as to say the sweet youth's in
  49  love.
  50  <S DON PEDRO> The greatest note of it is his melancholy.
  51  <S CLAUDIO> And when was he wont to wash his face?
  52  <S DON PEDRO> Yea, or to paint himself?_for the which I
  53  hear what they say of him.
  54  <S CLAUDIO> Nay, but his jesting spirit, which is now crept
  55  into a lute-string, and now governed by stops.
  56  <S DON PEDRO> Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him.
  57  Conclude, conclude, he is in love.
  58  <S CLAUDIO> Nay, but I know who loves him.
  59  <S DON PEDRO> That would I know, too. I warrant, one that
  60  knows him not.
  61  <S CLAUDIO> Yes, and his ill conditions, and in despite of all,
  62  dies for him.
  63  <S DON PEDRO> She shall be buried with her face upwards.
  64  <S BENEDICK> Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old
  65  signor, walk aside with me. I have studied eight or
  66  nine wise words to speak to you which these hobby-
  67  horses must not hear.<T esd> {Exeunt Benedick and Leonato}
  68  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.
  69  <S CLAUDIO> 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this
  70  played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears
  71  will not bite one another when they meet.<T dsd> {Enter Don John the     +
  71  bastard}
  72  <S DON JOHN> <T prose> My lord, and brother, God save you.
  73  <S DON PEDRO> Good-e'en, brother.
  74  <S DON JOHN> If your leisure served I would speak with you.
  75  <S DON PEDRO> In private?
  76  <S DON JOHN> If it please you. Yet Count Claudio may hear,
  77  for what I would speak of concerns him.
  78  <S DON PEDRO> What's the matter?
  79  <S DON JOHN> <T asd> {(to Claudio)}<T prose> Means your lordship to be   +
  79  married
  80  tomorrow?
  81  <S DON PEDRO> You know he does.
  82  <S DON JOHN> I know not that when he knows what I know.
  83  <S CLAUDIO> If there be any impediment, I pray you discover
  84  it.
  85  <S DON JOHN> You may think I love you not. Let that appear
  86  hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will
  87  manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well
  88  and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your
  89  ensuing marriage_surely suit ill spent, and labour ill
  90  bestowed.
  91  <S DON PEDRO> Why, what's the matter?
  92  <S DON JOHN> I came hither to tell you, and, circumstances
  93  shortened_for she has been too long a-talking of_the
  94  lady is disloyal.
  95  <S CLAUDIO> Who, Hero?
  96  <S DON JOHN> Even she. Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every
  97  man's Hero.
  98  <S CLAUDIO> Disloyal?
  99  <S DON JOHN> The word is too good to paint out her
 100  wickedness. I could say she were worse. Think you of
 101  a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till
 102  further warrant. Go but with me tonight, you shall see
 103  her chamber window entered, even the night before
 104  her wedding day. If you love her then, tomorrow wed
 105  her. But it would better fit your honour to change your
 106  mind.
 107  <S CLAUDIO> May this be so?
 108  <S DON PEDRO> I will not think it.
 109  <S DON JOHN> If you dare not trust that you see, confess not
 110  that you know. If you will follow me I will show you
 111  enough, and when you have seen more and heard
 112  more, proceed accordingly.
 113  <S CLAUDIO> If I see anything tonight why I should not marry
 114  her, tomorrow, in the congregation where I should
 115  wed, there will I shame her.
 116  <S DON PEDRO> And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will
 117  join with thee to disgrace her.
 118  <S DON JOHN> I will disparage her no farther till you are my
 119  witnesses. Bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the
 120  issue show itself.
 121  <S DON PEDRO> O day untowardly turned!
 122  <S CLAUDIO> O mischief strangely thwarting!
 123  <S DON JOHN> O plague right well prevented!_So will you
 124  say when you have seen the sequel.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 3> <T dsd> {Enter Dogberry and his compartner Verges, with the        +
   0  Watch}
   1  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Are you good men and true?
   2  <S VERGES> Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer
   3  salvation, body and soul.
   4  <S DOGBERRY> Nay, that were a punishment too good for them
   5  if they should have any allegiance in them, being
   6  chosen for the Prince's watch.
   7  <S VERGES> Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.
   8  <S DOGBERRY> First, who think you the most desertless man
   9  to be constable?
  10  <S SECOND WATCHMAN> Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal,
  11  for they can write and read.
  12  <S DOGBERRY> Come hither, neighbour Seacoal, God hath blest
  13  you with a good name. To be a well-favoured man is
  14  the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by
  15  nature.
  16  <S FIRST WATCHMAN> Both which, Master Constable_
  17  <S DOGBERRY> You have. I knew it would be your answer.
  18  Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and
  19  make no boast of it. And for your writing and reading,
  20  let that appear when there is no need of such vanity.
  21  You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit
  22  man for the constable of the watch, therefore bear you
  23  the lantern. This is your charge: you shall comprehend
  24  all vagrom men. You are to bid any man stand, in the
  25  Prince's name.
  26  <S FIRST WATCHMAN> How if a will not stand?
  27  <S DOGBERRY> Why then take no note of him, but let him go,
  28  and presently call the rest of the watch together, and
  29  thank God you are rid of a knave.
  30  <S VERGES> If he will not stand when he is bidden he is none
  31  of the Prince's subjects.
  32  <S DOGBERRY> True, and they are to meddle with none but
  33  the Prince's subjects._You shall also make no noise
  34  in the streets, for for the watch to babble and to talk
  35  is most tolerable and not to be endured.
  36  <S A WATCHMAN> We will rather sleep than talk. We know
  37  what belongs to a watch.
  38  <S DOGBERRY> Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet
  39  watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend.
  40  Only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well,
  41  you are to call at all the alehouses and bid those that
  42  are drunk get them to bed.
  43  <S A WATCHMAN> How if they will not?
  44  <S DOGBERRY> Why then, let them alone till they are sober.
  45  If they make you not then the better answer, you may
  46  say they are not the men you took them for.
  47  <S A WATCHMAN> Well, sir.
  48  <S DOGBERRY> If you meet a thief you may suspect him, by
  49  virtue of your office, to be no true man; and for such
  50  kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them
  51  why, the more is for your honesty.
  52  <S A WATCHMAN> If we know him to be a thief, shall we not
  53  lay hands on him?
  54  <S DOGBERRY> Truly, by your office you may, but I think they
  55  that touch pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable
  56  way for you if you do take a thief is to let him show
  57  himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
  58  <S VERGES> You have been always called a merciful man,
  59  partner.
  60  <S DOGBERRY> Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will,
  61  much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
  62  <S VERGES> If you hear a child cry in the night you must call
  63  to the nurse and bid her still it.
  64  <S A WATCHMAN> How if the nurse be asleep and will not
  65  hear us?
  66  <S DOGBERRY> Why then, depart in peace and let the child
  67  wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not hear
  68  her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when
  69  he bleats.
  70  <S VERGES> 'Tis very true.
  71  <S DOGBERRY> This is the end of the charge. You, constable,
  72  are to present the Prince's own person. If you meet the
  73  Prince in the night you may stay him.
  74  <S VERGES> Nay, by 'r Lady, that I think a cannot.
  75  <S DOGBERRY> Five shillings to one on 't with any man that
  76  knows the statutes he may stay him. Marry, not without
  77  the Prince be willing, for indeed the watch ought to
  78  offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man
  79  against his will.
  80  <S VERGES> By 'r Lady, I think it be so.
  81  <S DOGBERRY> Ha ha ha! Well, masters, good night. An there
  82  be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Keep
  83  your fellows' counsels, and your own, and good night.
  84  Come, neighbour.
  85  <S [FIRST] WATCHMAN> Well, masters, we hear our charge.
  86  Let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and
  87  then all to bed.
  88  <S DOGBERRY> One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you
  89  watch about Signor Leonato's door, for the wedding
  90  being there tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight.
  91  Adieu. Be vigitant, I beseech you.<T esd> {Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.   +
  91  [The Watch sit]}
  92  <T dsd> {Enter Borachio and Conrad}<S BORACHIO> <T prose> What, Conrad!
  93  <S [FIRST] WATCHMAN> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> Peace, stir not.
  94  <S BORACHIO> Conrad, I say.
  95  <S CONRAD> Here, man, I am at thy elbow.
  96  <S BORACHIO> Mass, an my elbow itched, I thought there
  97  would a scab follow.
  98  <S CONRAD> I will owe thee an answer for that. And now,
  99  forward with thy tale.
 100  <S BORACHIO> Stand thee close, then, under this penthouse,
 101  for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard,
 102  utter all to thee.
 103  <S A WATCHMAN> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> Some treason, masters. Yet     +
 103  stand
 104  close.
 105  <S BORACHIO> Therefore, know I have earned of Don John a
 106  thousand ducats.
 107  <S CONRAD> Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?
 108  <S BORACHIO> Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any
 109  villainy should be so rich. For when rich villains have
 110  need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price
 111  they will.
 112  <S CONRAD> I wonder at it.
 113  <S BORACHIO> That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou
 114  knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a
 115  cloak is nothing to a man.
 116  <S CONRAD> Yes, it is apparel.
 117  <S BORACHIO> I mean the fashion.
 118  <S CONRAD> Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
 119  <S BORACHIO> Tush, I may as well say the fool's the fool. But
 120  seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?
 121  <S A WATCHMAN> <T asd> {(aside)}<T prose> I know that Deformed. A has    +
 121  been
 122  a vile thief this seven year. A goes up and down like a
 123  gentleman. I remember his name.
 124  <S BORACHIO> Didst thou not hear somebody?
 125  <S CONRAD> No, 'twas the vane on the house.
 126  <S BORACHIO> Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief
 127  this fashion is, how giddily a turns about all the hot-
 128  bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty, sometimes
 129  fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy
 130  painting, sometime like god Bel's priests in the old
 131  church window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in
 132  the smirched, worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece
 133  seems as massy as his club?
 134  <S CONRAD> All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears
 135  out more apparel than the man. But art not thou
 136  thyself giddy with the fashion, too, that thou hast
 137  shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
 138  <S BORACHIO> Not so, neither. But know that I have tonight
 139  wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the
 140  name of Hero. She leans me out at her mistress'
 141  chamber window, bids me a thousand times good
 142  night_I tell this tale vilely, I should first tell thee how
 143  the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed
 144  and possessed by my master, Don John, saw afar off in
 145  the orchard this amiable encounter.
 146  <S CONRAD> And thought they Margaret was Hero?
 147  <S BORACHIO> Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but
 148  the devil my master knew she was Margaret, and partly
 149  by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the
 150  dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my
 151  villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John
 152  had made, away went Claudio enraged, swore he would
 153  meet her as he was appointed next morning at the
 154  temple, and there, before the whole congregation,
 155  shame her with what he saw o'ernight, and send her
 156  home again without a husband.
 157  <S [FIRST] WATCHMAN> <T asd> {(coming forward)}<T prose> We charge you   +
 157  in the
 158  Prince's name. Stand.
 159  <S [A WATCHMAN]> Call up the right Master Constable. We
 160  have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery
 161  that ever was known in the commonwealth.
 162  <S [FIRST] WATCHMAN> And one Deformed is one of them. I
 163  know him_a wears a lock.
 164  <S CONRAD> Masters, masters!
 165  <S [A WATCHMAN]> You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I
 166  warrant you.
 167  <S [CONRAD]> Masters_
 168  <S [A WATCHMAN]> Never speak. We charge you. Let us obey
 169  you to go with us.
 170  <S BORACHIO> <T asd> {(to Conrad)}<T prose> We are like to prove a       +
 170  goodly
 171  commodity, being taken up of these men's bills.
 172  <S CONRAD> A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come,
 173  we'll obey you.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 4> <T dsd> {Enter Hero, Margaret, and Ursula}
   1  <S HERO> <T prose> Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire
   2  her to rise.
   3  <S URSULA> I will, lady.
   4  <S HERO> And bid her come hither.
   5  <S URSULA> Well.<T esd> {Exit}
   6  <S MARGARET> <T prose> Troth, I think your other rebato were better.
   7  <S HERO> No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.
   8  <S MARGARET> By my troth, 's not so good, and I warrant
   9  your cousin will say so.
  10  <S HERO> My cousin's a fool, and thou art another: I'll wear
  11  none but this.
  12  <S MARGARET> I like the new tire within excellently, if the
  13  hair were a thought browner. And your gown's a most
  14  rare fashion, i' faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan's gown
  15  that they praise so.
  16  <S HERO> O, that exceeds, they say.
  17  <S MARGARET> By my troth, 's but a night-gown in respect
  18  of yours_cloth o' gold, and cuts, and laced with silver,
  19  set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts
  20  round underborne with a bluish tinsel. But for a fine,
  21  quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth
  22  ten on 't.
  23  <S HERO> God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding
  24  heavy.
  25  <S MARGARET> 'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.
  26  <S HERO> Fie upon thee, art not ashamed?
  27  <S MARGARET> Of what, lady? Of speaking honourably? Is not
  28  marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord
  29  honourable without marriage? I think you would have
  30  me say `saving your reverence, a husband". An bad
  31  thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend nobody.
  32  Is there any harm in `the heavier for a husband"?
  33  None, I think, an it be the right husband and the right
  34  wife_otherwise 'tis light and not heavy. Ask my Lady
  35  Beatrice else. Here she comes.<T dsd> {Enter Beatrice}
  36  <S HERO> <T prose> Good morrow, coz.
  37  <S BEATRICE> Good morrow, sweet Hero.
  38  <S HERO> Why, how now? Do you speak in the sick tune?
  39  <S BEATRICE> I am out of all other tune, methinks.
  40  <S MARGARET> Clap 's into `Light o' love". That goes without
  41  a burden. Do you sing it, and I'll dance it.
  42  <S BEATRICE> Ye light o' love with your heels. Then if your
  43  husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall lack
  44  no barns.
  45  <S MARGARET> O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with
  46  my heels.
  47  <S BEATRICE> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> 'Tis almost five o'clock,      +
  47  cousin. 'Tis
  48  time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill.
  49  Heigh-ho!
  50  <S MARGARET> For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?
  51  <S BEATRICE> For the letter that begins them all_h.
  52  <S MARGARET> Well, an you be not turned Turk, there's no
  53  more sailing by the star.
  54  <S BEATRICE> What means the fool, trow?
  55  <S MARGARET> Nothing, I. But God send everyone their heart's
  56  desire.
  57  <S HERO> These gloves the Count sent me, they are an
  58  excellent perfume.
  59  <S BEATRICE> I am stuffed, cousin. I cannot smell.
  60  <S MARGARET> A maid, and stuffed! There's goodly catching
  61  of cold.
  62  <S BEATRICE> O, God help me, God help me. How long have
  63  you professed apprehension?
  64  <S MARGARET> Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit become
  65  me rarely?
  66  <S BEATRICE> It is not seen enough. You should wear it in
  67  your cap. By my troth, I am sick.
  68  <S MARGARET> Get you some of this distilled {carduus benedictus},
  69  and lay it to your heart. It is the only thing for a
  70  qualm.
  71  <S HERO> There thou prickest her with a thistle.
  72  <S BEATRICE> Benedictus_why Benedictus? You have some
  73  moral in this Benedictus.
  74  <S MARGARET> Moral? No, by my troth, I have no moral
  75  meaning. I meant plain holy-thistle. You may think
  76  perchance that I think you are in love. Nay, by 'r Lady,
  77  I am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list not
  78  to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think, if I
  79  would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in
  80  love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in
  81  love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he
  82  become a man. He swore he would never marry, and
  83  yet now in despite of his heart he eats his meat without
  84  grudging. And how you may be converted I know not,
  85  but methinks you look with your eyes, as other women
  86  do.
  87  <S BEATRICE> What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?
  88  <S MARGARET> Not a false gallop.<T dsd> {Enter Ursula}
  89  <S URSULA> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Madam, withdraw. The Prince,     +
  89  the
  90  Count, Signor Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants
  91  of the town are come to fetch you to church.
  92  <S HERO> Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.<T esd>       +
  92  {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 5> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato, and Dogberry the constable, and Verges     +
   0  the headborough}
   1  <S LEONATO> <T prose> What would you with me, honest neighbour?
   2  <S DOGBERRY> Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with
   3  you that decerns you nearly.
   4  <S LEONATO> Brief I pray you, for you see it is a busy time
   5  with me.
   6  <S DOGBERRY> Marry, this it is, sir.
   7  <S VERGES> Yes, in truth it is, sir.
   8  <S LEONATO> What is it, my good friends?
   9  <S DOGBERRY> Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the
  10  matter_an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt
  11  as, God help, I would desire they were. But in faith,
  12  honest as the skin between his brows.
  13  <S VERGES> Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man
  14  living that is an old man and no honester than I.
  15  <S DOGBERRY> Comparisons are odorous. Palabras, neighbour
  16  Verges.
  17  <S LEONATO> Neighbours, you are tedious.
  18  <S DOGBERRY> It pleases your worship to say so, but we are
  19  the poor Duke's officers. But truly, for mine own part,
  20  if I were as tedious as a king I could find in my heart
  21  to bestow it all of your worship.
  22  <S LEONATO> All thy tediousness on me, ah?
  23  <S DOGBERRY> Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more than
  24  'tis, for I hear as good exclamation on your worship
  25  as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor
  26  man, I am glad to hear it.
  27  <S VERGES> And so am I.
  28  <S LEONATO> I would fain know what you have to say.
  29  <S VERGES> Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your
  30  worship's presence, ha' ta'en a couple of as arrant
  31  knaves as any in Messina.
  32  <S DOGBERRY> A good old man, sir. He will be talking. As
  33  they say, when the age is in, the wit is out. God help
  34  us, it is a world to see. Well said, i' faith, neighbour
  35  Verges. Well, God's a good man. An two men ride of
  36  a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i' faith,
  37  sir, by my troth he is, as ever broke bread. But, God is
  38  to be worshipped, all men are not alike, alas, good
  39  neighbour.
  40  <S LEONATO> Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
  41  <S DOGBERRY> Gifts that God gives!
  42  <S LEONATO> I must leave you.
  43  <S DOGBERRY> One word, sir. Our watch, sir, have indeed
  44  comprehended two auspicious persons, and we would
  45  have them this morning examined before your worship.
  46  <S LEONATO> Take their examination yourself, and bring it
  47  me. I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto
  48  you.
  49  <S DOGBERRY> It shall be suffigance.
  50  <S LEONATO> Drink some wine ere you go. Fare you well.<T dsd> {Enter a   +
  50  Messenger}
  51  <S MESSENGER> <T prose> My lord, they stay for you to give your
  52  daughter to her husband.
  53  <S LEONATO> I'll wait upon them, I am ready.<T esd> {Exeunt Leonato and  +
  53  Messenger}
  54  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal,
  55  bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the jail. We are
  56  now to examination these men.
  57  <S VERGES> And we must do it wisely.
  58  <S DOGBERRY> We will spare for no wit, I warrant you. Here's
  59  that shall drive some of them to a non-com. Only get
  60  the learned writer to set down our excommunication,
  61  and meet me at the jail.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <X 4> <Y 1> <T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro the Prince, Don John the bastard,   +
   0  Leonato, Friar Francis, Claudio, Benedick, Hero, and Beatrice}
   1  <S LEONATO> <T prose> Come, Friar Francis, be brief. Only to the plain
   2  form of marriage, and you shall recount their particular
   3  duties afterwards.
   4  <S FRIAR> <T asd> {(to Claudio)}<T prose> You come hither, my lord, to   +
   4  marry
   5  this lady?
   6  <S CLAUDIO> No.
   7  <S LEONATO> To be married to her. Friar, you come to marry
   8  her.
   9  <S FRIAR> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T prose> Lady, you come hither to be       +
   9  married to
  10  this count?
  11  <S HERO> I do.
  12  <S FRIAR> If either of you know any inward impediment why
  13  you should not be conjoined, I charge you on your
  14  souls to utter it.
  15  <S CLAUDIO> Know you any, Hero?
  16  <S HERO> None, my lord.
  17  <S FRIAR> Know you any, Count?
  18  <S LEONATO> I dare make his answer_none.
  19  <S CLAUDIO> O, what men dare do! What men may do! What
  20  men daily do, not knowing what they do!
  21  <S BENEDICK> How now! Interjections? Why then, some be of
  22  laughing, as `ah, ha, he!"
  23  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> Stand thee by, Friar. Father, by your leave,
  24  Will you with free and unconstraine\d soul
  25  Give me this maid, your daughter?
  26  <S LEONATO> As freely, son, as God did give her me.
  27  <S CLAUDIO> And what have I to give you back whose worth
  28  May counterpoise this rich and precious gift?
  29  <S DON PEDRO> Nothing, unless you render her again.
  30  <S CLAUDIO> Sweet Prince, you learn me noble thankfulness.
  31  There, Leonato, take her back again.
  32  Give not this rotten orange to your friend.
  33  She's but the sign and semblance of her honour.
  34  Behold how like a maid she blushes here!
  35  O, what authority and show of truth
  36  Can cunning sin cover itself withal!
  37  Comes not that blood as modest evidence
  38  To witness simple virtue? Would you not swear,
  39  All you that see her, that she were a maid,
  40  By these exterior shows? But she is none.
  41  She knows the heat of a luxurious bed.
  42  Her blush is guiltiness, not modesty.
  43B <S LEONATO> What do you mean, my lord?<S CLAUDIO> Not to be married,
  44  Not to knit my soul to an approve\d wanton.
  45  <S LEONATO> Dear my lord, if you in your own proof
  46  Have vanquished the resistance of her youth
  47  And made defeat of her virginity_
  48  <S CLAUDIO> I know what you would say. If I have known her,
  49  You will say she did embrace me as a husband,
  50  And so extenuate the forehand sin.
  51  No, Leonato,
  52  I never tempted her with word too large,
  53  But as a brother to his sister showed
  54  Bashful sincerity and comely love.
  55  <S HERO> And seemed I ever otherwise to you?
  56  <S CLAUDIO> Out on thee, seeming! I will write against it.
  57  You seem to me as Dian in her orb,
  58  As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown.
  59  But you are more intemperate in your blood
  60  Than Venus or those pampered animals
  61  That rage in savage sensuality.
  62  <S HERO> Is my lord well that he doth speak so wide?
  63B <S LEONATO> Sweet Prince, why speak not you?<S DON PEDRO> What should I  +
  63B speak?
  64  I stand dishonoured, that have gone about
  65  To link my dear friend to a common stale.
  66  <S LEONATO> Are these things spoken, or do I but dream?
  67  <S DON JOHN> Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true.
  68A <S BENEDICK> This looks not like a nuptial.
  69A <S HERO> `True"! O God!
  70A <S CLAUDIO> Leonato, stand I here?
  71  Is this the Prince? Is this the Prince's brother?
  72  Is this face Hero's? Are our eyes our own?
  73  <S LEONATO> All this is so. But what of this, my lord?
  74  <S CLAUDIO> Let me but move one question to your daughter,
  75  And by that fatherly and kindly power
  76  That you have in her, bid her answer truly.
  77  <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T verse> I charge thee do so, as thou    +
  77  art my child.
  78  <S HERO> O God defend me, how am I beset!
  79  What kind of catechizing call you this?
  80  <S CLAUDIO> To make you answer truly to your name.
  81  <S HERO> Is it not Hero? Who can blot that name
  82B With any just reproach?<S CLAUDIO> Marry, that can Hero.
  83  Hero itself can blot out Hero's virtue.
  84  What man was he talked with you yesternight
  85  Out at your window betwixt twelve and one?
  86  Now if you are a maid, answer to this.
  87  <S HERO> I talked with no man at that hour, my lord.
  88  <S DON PEDRO> Why, then are you no maiden. Leonato,
  89  I am sorry you must hear. Upon mine honour,
  90  Myself, my brother, and this grieve\d Count
  91  Did see her, hear her, at that hour last night
  92  Talk with a ruffian at her chamber window,
  93  Who hath indeed, most like a liberal villain,
  94  Confessed the vile encounters they have had
  95B A thousand times in secret.<S DON JOHN> Fie, fie, they are
  96  Not to be named, my lord, not to be spoke of.
  97  There is not chastity enough in language
  98  Without offence to utter them. Thus, pretty lady,
  99  I am sorry for thy much misgovernment.
 100  <S CLAUDIO> O Hero! What a Hero hadst thou been
 101  If half thy outward graces had been placed
 102  About thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart!
 103  But fare thee well, most foul, most fair, farewell
 104  Thou pure impiety and impious purity.
 105  For thee I'll lock up all the gates of love,
 106  And on my eyelids shall conjecture hang
 107  To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm,
 108  And never shall it more be gracious.
 109  <S LEONATO> Hath no man's dagger here a point for me?<T dsd> {Hero       +
 109  falls to the ground}
 110  <S BEATRICE> <T verse> Why, how now, cousin, wherefore sink you down?
 111  <S DON JOHN> Come. Let us go. These things come thus to light
 112  Smother her spirits up.<T esd> {Exeunt Don Pedro, Don John, and          +
 112  Claudio}
 113B <S BENEDICK> <T verse> How doth the lady?<S BEATRICE> Dead, I think.     +
 113B Help, uncle.
 114  Hero, why Hero! Uncle, Signor Benedick, Friar_
 115  <S LEONATO> O fate, take not away thy heavy hand.
 116  Death is the fairest cover for her shame
 117B That may be wished for.<S BEATRICE> How now, cousin Hero?
 118A <S FRIAR> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T verse> Have comfort, lady.
 119A <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T verse> Dost thou look up?
 120A <S FRIAR> Yea, wherefore should she not?
 121  <S LEONATO> Wherefore? Why, doth not every earthly thing
 122  Cry shame upon her? Could she here deny
 123  The story that is printed in her blood?
 124  Do not live, Hero, do not ope thine eyes,
 125  For did I think thou wouldst not quickly die,
 126  Thought I thy spirits were stronger than thy shames,
 127  Myself would on the rearward of reproaches
 128  Strike at thy life. Grieved I I had but one?
 129  Chid I for that at frugal nature's frame?
 130  O one too much by thee! Why had I one?
 131  Why ever wast thou lovely in my eyes?
 132  Why had I not with charitable hand
 133  Took up a beggar's issue at my gates,
 134  Who smirche\d thus and mired with infamy,
 135  I might have said `No part of it is mine,
 136  This shame derives itself from unknown loins."
 137  But mine, and mine I loved, and mine I praised,
 138  And mine that I was proud on, mine so much
 139  That I myself was to myself not mine,
 140  Valuing of her_why she, O she is fallen
 141  Into a pit of ink, that the wide sea
 142  Hath drops too few to wash her clean again,
 143  And salt too little which may season give
 144B To her foul tainted flesh.<S BENEDICK> Sir, sir, be patient.
 145  For my part, I am so attired in wonder
 146  I know not what to say.
 147  <S BEATRICE> O, on my soul, my cousin is belied.
 148  <S BENEDICK> Lady, were you her bedfellow last night?
 149  <S BEATRICE> No, truly not, although until last night
 150  I have this twelvemonth been her bedfellow.
 151  <S LEONATO> Confirmed, confirmed. O, that is stronger made
 152  Which was before barred up with ribs of iron.
 153  Would the two princes lie? And Claudio lie,
 154  Who loved her so that, speaking of her foulness,
 155  Washed it with tears? Hence from her, let her die.
 156A <S FRIAR> Hear me a little,
 157  For I have only been silent so long
 158  And given way unto this course of fortune
 159  []
 160  By noting of the lady. I have marked
 161  A thousand blushing apparitions
 162  To start into her face, a thousand innocent shames
 163  In angel whiteness beat away those blushes,
 164  And in her eye there hath appeared a fire
 165  To burn the errors that these princes hold
 166  Against her maiden truth. Call me a fool,
 167  Trust not my reading nor my observations,
 168  Which with experimental seal doth warrant
 169  The tenor of my book. Trust not my age,
 170  My reverence, calling, nor divinity,
 171  If this sweet lady lie not guiltless here
 172B Under some biting error.<S LEONATO> Friar, it cannot be.
 173  Thou seest that all the grace that she hath left
 174  Is that she will not add to her damnation
 175  A sin of perjury. She not denies it.
 176  Why seek'st thou then to cover with excuse
 177  That which appears in proper nakedness?
 178  <S FRIAR> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T verse> Lady, what man is he you are      +
 178  accused of?
 179  <S HERO> They know that do accuse me. I know none.
 180  If I know more of any man alive
 181  Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant,
 182  Let all my sins lack mercy. O my father,
 183  Prove you that any man with me conversed
 184  At hours unmeet, or that I yesternight
 185  Maintained the change of words with any creature,
 186  Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death.
 187  <S FRIAR> There is some strange misprision in the princes.
 188  <S BENEDICK> Two of them have the very bent of honour,
 189  And if their wisdoms be misled in this
 190  The practice of it lives in John the bastard,
 191  Whose spirits toil in frame of villainies.
 192  <S LEONATO> I know not. If they speak but truth of her
 193  These hands shall tear her. If they wrong her honour
 194  The proudest of them shall well hear of it.
 195  Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine,
 196  Nor age so eat up my invention,
 197  Nor fortune made such havoc of my means,
 198  Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends,
 199  But they shall find awaked in such a kind
 200  Both strength of limb and policy of mind,
 201  Ability in means, and choice of friends,
 202B To quit me of them throughly.<S FRIAR> Pause awhile,
 203  And let my counsel sway you in this case.
 204  Your daughter here the princes left for dead,
 205  Let her a while be secretly kept in,
 206  And publish it that she is dead indeed.
 207  Maintain a mourning ostentation,
 208  And on your family's old monument
 209  Hang mournful epitaphs, and do all rites
 210  That appertain unto a burial.
 211  <S LEONATO> What shall become of this? What will this do?
 212  <S FRIAR> Marry, this, well carried, shall on her behalf
 213  Change slander to remorse. That is some good.
 214  But not for that dream I on this strange course,
 215  But on this travail look for greater birth.
 216  She_dying, as it must be so maintained,
 217  Upon the instant that she was accused_
 218  Shall be lamented, pitied, and excused
 219  Of every hearer. For it so falls out
 220  That what we have, we prize not to the worth
 221  Whiles we enjoy it, but, being lacked and lost,
 222  Why then we rack the value, then we find
 223  The virtue that possession would not show us
 224  Whiles it was ours. So will it fare with Claudio.
 225  When he shall hear she died upon his words,
 226  Th' idea of her life shall sweetly creep
 227  Into his study of imagination,
 228  And every lovely organ of her life
 229  Shall come apparelled in more precious habit,
 230  More moving-delicate, and full of life,
 231  Into the eye and prospect of his soul
 232  Than when she lived indeed. Then shall he mourn,
 233  If ever love had interest in his liver,
 234  And wish he had not so accuse\d her,
 235  No, though he thought his accusation true.
 236  Let this be so, and doubt not but success
 237  Will fashion the event in better shape
 238  Than I can lay it down in likelihood.
 239  But if all aim but this be levelled false,
 240  The supposition of the lady's death
 241  Will quench the wonder of her infamy.
 242  And if it sort not well, you may conceal her,
 243  As best befits her wounded reputation,
 244  In some reclusive and religious life,
 245  Out of all eyes, tongues, minds, and injuries.
 246  <S BENEDICK> Signor Leonato, let the Friar advise you.
 247  And though you know my inwardness and love
 248  Is very much unto the Prince and Claudio,
 249  Yet, by mine honour, I will deal in this
 250  As secretly and justly as your soul
 251  Should with your body.
 252A <S LEONATO> Being that I flow in grief,
 253A The smallest twine may lead me.
 254  <S FRIAR> 'Tis well consented. Presently away,
 255  For to strange sores strangely they strain the cure.
 256  <T asd> {(To Hero)}<T verse> Come, lady, die to live. This wedding day
 257  Perhaps is but prolonged. Have patience, and endure.<T esd> {Exeunt all  +
 257  but Beatrice and Benedick}
 258  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?
 259  <S BEATRICE> Yea, and I will weep a while longer.
 260  <S BENEDICK> I will not desire that.
 261  <S BEATRICE> You have no reason, I do it freely.
 262  <S BENEDICK> Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.
 263  <S BEATRICE> Ah, how much might the man deserve of me
 264  that would right her!
 265  <S BENEDICK> Is there any way to show such friendship?
 266  <S BEATRICE> A very even way, but no such friend.
 267  <S BENEDICK> May a man do it?
 268  <S BEATRICE> It is a man's office, but not yours.
 269  <S BENEDICK> I do love nothing in the world so well as you.
 270  Is not that strange?
 271  <S BEATRICE> As strange as the thing I know not. It were as
 272  possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you,
 273  but believe me not, and yet I lie not. I confess nothing
 274  nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.
 275  <S BENEDICK> By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.
 276  <S BEATRICE> Do not swear and eat it.
 277  <S BENEDICK> I will swear by it that you love me, and I will
 278  make him eat it that says I love not you.
 279  <S BEATRICE> Will you not eat your word?
 280  <S BENEDICK> With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest
 281  I love thee.
 282  <S BEATRICE> Why then, God forgive me.
 283  <S BENEDICK> What offence, sweet Beatrice?
 284  <S BEATRICE> You have stayed me in a happy hour. I was
 285  about to protest I loved you.
 286  <S BENEDICK> And do it with all thy heart.
 287  <S BEATRICE> I love you with so much of my heart that none
 288  is left to protest.
 289  <S BENEDICK> Come, bid me do anything for thee.
 290  <S BEATRICE> Kill Claudio.
 291  <S BENEDICK> Ha! Not for the wide world.
 292  <S BEATRICE> You kill me to deny it. Farewell.
 293  <S BENEDICK> Tarry, sweet Beatrice.
 294  <S BEATRICE> I am gone though I am here. There is no love
 295  in you._Nay, I pray you, let me go.
 296  <S BENEDICK> Beatrice.
 297  <S BEATRICE> In faith, I will go.
 298  <S BENEDICK> We'll be friends first.
 299  <S BEATRICE> You dare easier be friends with me than fight
 300  with mine enemy.
 301  <S BENEDICK> Is Claudio thine enemy?
 302  <S BEATRICE> Is a not approved in the height a villain, that
 303  hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman?
 304  O that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until
 305  they come to take hands, and then with public
 306  accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour_
 307  O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the
 308  market place.
 309  <S BENEDICK> Hear me, Beatrice.
 310  <S BEATRICE> Talk with a man out at a window_a proper
 311  saying!
 312  <S BENEDICK> Nay, but Beatrice.
 313  <S BEATRICE> Sweet Hero, she is wronged, she is slandered,
 314  she is undone.
 315  <S BENEDICK> Beat_
 316  <S BEATRICE> Princes and counties! Surely a princely testimony,
 317  a goodly count, Count Comfit, a sweet gallant,
 318  surely. O that I were a man for his sake! Or that I had
 319  any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood
 320  is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and
 321  men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones, too.
 322  He is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie
 323  and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore
 324  I will die a woman with grieving.
 325  <S BENEDICK> Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.
 326  <S BEATRICE> Use it for my love some other way than swearing
 327  by it.
 328  <S BENEDICK> Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath
 329  wronged Hero?
 330  <S BEATRICE> Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.
 331  <S BENEDICK> Enough, I am engaged, I will challenge him. I
 332  will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand,
 333  Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear
 334  of me, so think of me. Go comfort your cousin. I must
 335  say she is dead. And so, farewell.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 2> <T dsd> {Enter Dogberry and Verges the constables, and the         +
   0  Sexton, in gowns, and the Watch, with Conrad and Borachio}
   1  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Is our whole dissembly appeared?
   2  <S VERGES> O, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.
   3  <S SEXTON> <T asd> {[sits]}<T prose> Which be the malefactors?
   4  <S DOGBERRY> Marry, that am I, and my partner.
   5  <S VERGES> Nay, that's certain, we have the exhibition to
   6  examine.
   7  <S SEXTON> But which are the offenders that are to be
   8  examined? Let them come before Master Constable.
   9  <S DOGBERRY> Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is
  10  your name, friend?
  11  <S BORACHIO> Borachio.
  12  <S DOGBERRY> <T asd> {(to the Sexton)}<T prose> Pray write down          +
  12  `Borachio".<T asd> {(To}
  13  {Conrad)}<T prose> Yours, sirrah?
  14  <S CONRAD> I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrad.
  15  <S DOGBERRY> Write down `Master Gentleman Conrad"._
  16  Masters, do you serve God?
  17  <S CONRAD {AND} BORACHIO> Yea, sir, we hope.
  18  <S DOGBERRY> Write down that they hope they serve God.
  19  And write `God" first, for God defend but God should
  20  go before such villains. Masters, it is proved already
  21  that you are little better than false knaves, and it will
  22  go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for
  23  yourselves?
  24  <S CONRAD> Marry, sir, we say we are none.
  25  <S DOGBERRY> A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you, but I
  26  will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah. A
  27  word in your ear, sir. I say to you it is thought you
  28  are false knaves.
  29  <S BORACHIO> Sir, I say to you we are none.
  30  <S DOGBERRY> Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in
  31  a tale. Have you writ down that they are none?
  32  <S SEXTON> Master Constable, you go not the way to examine.
  33  You must call forth the watch that are their accusers.
  34  <S DOGBERRY> Yea, marry, that's the eftest way. Let the watch
  35  come forth. Masters, I charge you in the Prince's name
  36  accuse these men.
  37  <S FIRST WATCHMAN> This man said, sir, that Don John, the
  38  Prince's brother, was a villain.
  39  <S DOGBERRY> Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is
  40  flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.
  41  <S BORACHIO> Master Constable.
  42  <S DOGBERRY> Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look,
  43  I promise thee.
  44  <S SEXTON> What heard you him say else?
  45  <S SECOND WATCHMAN> Marry, that he had received a
  46  thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady
  47  Hero wrongfully.
  48  <S DOGBERRY> Flat burglary, as ever was committed.
  49  <S VERGES> Yea, by mass, that it is.
  50  <S SEXTON> What else, fellow?
  51  <S FIRST WATCHMAN> And that Count Claudio did mean upon
  52  his words to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly,
  53  and not marry her.
  54  <S DOGBERRY> O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting
  55  redemption for this.
  56  <S SEXTON> What else?
  57  <S WATCH> This is all.
  58  <S SEXTON> And this is more, masters, than you can deny.
  59  Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away. Hero
  60  was in this manner accused, in this very manner
  61  refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master
  62  Constable, let these men be bound and brought to
  63  Leonato's. I will go before and show him their
  64  examination.<T esd> {Exit}
  65  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Come, let them be opinioned.
  66  <S VERGES> Let them be, in the hands_
  67  <S [CONRAD]> Off, coxcomb!
  68  <S DOGBERRY> God's my life, where's the Sexton? Let him
  69  write down the Prince's officer coxcomb. Come, bind
  70  them. Thou naughty varlet!
  71  <S CONRAD> Away, you are an ass, you are an ass.
  72  <S DOGBERRY> Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not
  73  suspect my years? O that he were here to write me
  74  down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass.
  75  Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I
  76  am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as
  77  shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise
  78  fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is
  79  more, a householder, and which is more, as pretty a
  80  piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows
  81  the law, go to, and a rich fellow enough, go to, and a
  82  fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two
  83  gowns, and everything handsome about him. Bring
  84  him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <X 5> <Y 1> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato and Antonio his brother}
   1  <S ANTONIO> <T verse> If you go on thus, you will kill yourself,
   2  And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief
   3B Against yourself.<S LEONATO> I pray thee cease thy counsel,
   4  Which falls into mine ears as profitless
   5  As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
   6  Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
   7  But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
   8  Bring me a father that so loved his child,
   9  Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,
  10  And bid him speak of patience.
  11  Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
  12  And let it answer every strain for strain,
  13  As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
  14  In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.
  15  If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
  16  Bid sorrow wag, cry `hem" when he should groan,
  17  Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
  18  With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
  19  And I of him will gather patience.
  20  But there is no such man, for, brother, men
  21  Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
  22  Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it
  23  Their counsel turns to passion, which before
  24  Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
  25  Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
  26  Charm ache with air and agony with words.
  27  No, no, 'tis all men's office to speak patience
  28  To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
  29  But no man's virtue nor sufficiency
  30  To be so moral when he shall endure
  31  The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.
  32  My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
  33  <S ANTONIO> Therein do men from children nothing differ.
  34  <S LEONATO> I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and blood,
  35  For there was never yet philosopher
  36  That could endure the toothache patiently,
  37  However they have writ the style of gods,
  38  And made a pish at chance and sufferance.
  39  <S ANTONIO> Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.
  40  Make those that do offend you suffer, too.
  41  <S LEONATO> There thou speak'st reason, nay I will do so.
  42  My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,
  43  And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
  44  And all of them that thus dishonour her.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro the     +
  44  Prince and Claudio}
  45  <S ANTONIO> <T verse> Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.
  46B <S DON PEDRO> Good e'en, good e'en.<S CLAUDIO> Good day to both of you.
  47B <S LEONATO> Hear you, my lords?<S DON PEDRO> We have some haste,         +
  47B Leonato.
  48  <S LEONATO> Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord.
  49  Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
  50  <S DON PEDRO> Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.
  51  <S ANTONIO> If he could right himself with quarrelling,
  52B Some of us would lie low.<S CLAUDIO> Who wrongs him?
  53  <S LEONATO> Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou.
  54  Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
  55B I fear thee not.<S CLAUDIO> Marry, beshrew my hand
  56  If it should give your age such cause of fear.
  57  In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
  58  <S LEONATO> Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me.
  59  I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
  60  As under privilege of age to brag
  61  What I have done being young, or what would do
  62  Were I not old. Know Claudio to thy head,
  63  Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
  64  That I am forced to lay my reverence by
  65  And with grey hairs and bruise of many days
  66  Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
  67  I say thou hast belied mine innocent child.
  68  Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
  69  And she lies buried with her ancestors,
  70  O, in a tomb where never scandal slept
  71  Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy.
  72B <S CLAUDIO> My villainy?<S LEONATO> Thine, Claudio, thine I say.
  73B <S DON PEDRO> You say not right, old man.<S LEONATO> My lord, my lord,
  74  I'll prove it on his body if he dare,
  75  Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
  76  His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
  77  <S CLAUDIO> Away, I will not have to do with you.
  78  <S LEONATO> Canst thou so doff me? Thou hast killed my child.
  79  If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
  80  <S ANTONIO> He shall kill two of us, and men indeed.
  81  But that's no matter, let him kill one first.
  82  Win me and wear me. Let him answer me.
  83  Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me,
  84  Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence.
  85  Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
  86A <S LEONATO> Brother.
  87  <S ANTONIO> Content yourself. God knows, I loved my niece,
  88  And she is dead, slandered to death by villains
  89  That dare as well answer a man indeed
  90  As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
  91  Boys, apes, braggarts, jacks, milksops!
  92A <S LEONATO> Brother Antony_
  93  <S ANTONIO> Hold you content. What, man, I know them, yea
  94  And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple.
  95  Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
  96  That lie, and cog, and flout, deprave, and slander,
  97  Go anticly, and show an outward hideousness,
  98  And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,
  99  How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst,
 100  And this is all.
 101A <S LEONATO> But brother Antony_
 102A <S ANTONIO> Come, 'tis no matter,
 103  Do not you meddle, let me deal in this.
 104  <S DON PEDRO> Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
 105  My heart is sorry for your daughter's death,
 106  But on my honour she was charged with nothing
 107  But what was true and very full of proof.
 108B <S LEONATO> My lord, my lord_<S DON PEDRO> I will not hear you.
 109  <S LEONATO> No? Come brother, away. I will be heard.
 110  <S ANTONIO> And shall, or some of us will smart for it.<T esd> {Exeunt   +
 110  Leonato and Antonio}
 111  <T dsd> {Enter Benedick}<S DON PEDRO> <T verse> See, see, here comes     +
 111  the man we went to seek.
 112  <S CLAUDIO> <T prose> Now signor, what news?
 113  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(to Don Pedro)}<T prose> Good day, my lord.
 114  <S DON PEDRO> Welcome, signor. You are almost come to part
 115  almost a fray.
 116  <S CLAUDIO> We had liked to have had our two noses snapped
 117  off with two old men without teeth.
 118  <S DON PEDRO> Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou?
 119  Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young
 120  for them.
 121  <S BENEDICK> In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came
 122  to seek you both.
 123  <S CLAUDIO> We have been up and down to seek thee, for we
 124  are high-proof melancholy and would fain have it
 125  beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
 126  <S BENEDICK> It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it?
 127  <S DON PEDRO> Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?
 128  <S CLAUDIO> Never any did so, though very many have been
 129  beside their wit. I will bid thee draw as we do the
 130  minstrels, draw to pleasure us.
 131  <S DON PEDRO> As I am an honest man he looks pale. Art
 132  thou sick, or angry?
 133  <S CLAUDIO> What, courage, man. What though care killed
 134  a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
 135  <S BENEDICK> Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career an you
 136  charge it against me. I pray you choose another subject.
 137  <S CLAUDIO> Nay then, give him another staff. This last was
 138  broke cross.
 139  <S DON PEDRO> By this light, he changes more and more. I
 140  think he be angry indeed.
 141  <S CLAUDIO> If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
 142  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(aside to Claudio)}<T prose> Shall I speak a word  +
 142  in your
 143  ear?
 144  <S CLAUDIO> God bless me from a challenge.
 145  <S BENEDICK> You are a villain. I jest not. I will make it good
 146  how you dare, with what you dare, and when you
 147  dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice.
 148  You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall
 149  heavy on you. Let me hear from you.
 150  <S CLAUDIO> Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
 151  <S DON PEDRO> What, a feast, a feast?
 152  <S CLAUDIO> I' faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a calf's
 153  head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most
 154  curiously, say my knife's naught. Shall I not find a
 155  woodcock too?
 156  <S BENEDICK> Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily.
 157  <S DON PEDRO> I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the
 158  other day. I said thou hadst a fine wit. `True," said she,
 159  `a fine little one." `No," said I, `a great wit." `Right,"
 160  says she, `a great gross one." `Nay," said I, `a good wit."
 161  `Just," said she, `it hurts nobody." `Nay," said I, `the
 162  gentleman is wise." `Certain," said she, `a wise gentleman."
 163  `Nay," said I, `he hath the tongues." `That I
 164  believe," said she, `for he swore a thing to me on
 165  Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning.
 166  There's a double tongue, there's two tongues." Thus
 167  did she an hour together trans-shape thy particular
 168  virtues, yet at last she concluded with a sigh thou wast
 169  the properest man in Italy.
 170  <S CLAUDIO> For the which she wept heartily and said she
 171  cared not.
 172  <S DON PEDRO> Yea, that she did. But yet for all that, an if
 173  she did not hate him deadly she would love him dearly.
 174  The old man's daughter told us all.
 175  <S CLAUDIO> All, all. And moreover, God saw him when he
 176  was hid in the garden.
 177  <S DON PEDRO> But when shall we set the savage bull's horns
 178  on the sensible Benedick's head?
 179  <S CLAUDIO> Yea, and text underneath, `Here dwells Benedick
 180  the married man".
 181  <S BENEDICK> Fare you well, boy, you know my mind. I will
 182  leave you now to your gossip-like humour. You break
 183  jests as braggarts do their blades which, God be
 184  thanked, hurt not.<T asd> {(To Don Pedro)}<T prose> My lord, for your
 185  many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your
 186  company. Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina.
 187  You have among you killed a sweet and innocent lady.
 188  For my lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet, and
 189  till then, peace be with him.<T esd> {Exit}
 190  <S DON PEDRO> <T prose> He is in earnest.
 191  <S CLAUDIO> In most profound earnest, and, I'll warrant you,
 192  for the love of Beatrice.
 193  <S DON PEDRO> And hath challenged thee.
 194  <S CLAUDIO> Most sincerely.
 195  <S DON PEDRO> What a pretty thing man is when he goes in
 196  his doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!<T dsd> {Enter Dogberry and  +
 196  Verges the constables, the Watch, Conrad, and Borachio}
 197  <S CLAUDIO> <T prose> He is then a giant to an ape. But then is an ape
 198  a doctor to such a man.
 199  <S DON PEDRO> But soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart,
 200  and be sad. Did he not say my brother was fled?
 201  <S DOGBERRY> Come you sir, if justice cannot tame you, she
 202  shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an
 203  you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to.
 204  <S DON PEDRO> How now, two of my brother's men bound?
 205  Borachio one.
 206  <S CLAUDIO> Hearken after their offence, my lord.
 207  <S DON PEDRO> Officers, what offence have these men done?
 208  <S DOGBERRY> Marry, sir, they have committed false report,
 209  moreover they have spoken untruths, secondarily they
 210  are slanders, sixth and lastly they have belied a lady,
 211  thirdly they have verified unjust things, and to
 212  conclude, they are lying knaves.
 213  <S DON PEDRO> First I ask thee what they have done, thirdly
 214  I ask thee what's their offence, sixth and lastly why
 215  they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to
 216  their charge.
 217  <S CLAUDIO> Rightly reasoned, and in his own division. And
 218  by my troth there's one meaning well suited.
 219  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(to Conrad and Borachio)}<T prose> Who have you
 220  offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your
 221  answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be
 222  understood. What's your offence?
 223  <S BORACHIO> Sweet Prince, let me go no farther to mine
 224  answer. Do you hear me, and let this Count kill me. I
 225  have deceived even your very eyes. What your wisdoms
 226  could not discover, these shallow fools have brought
 227  to light, who in the night overheard me confessing to
 228  this man how Don John your brother incensed me to
 229  slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the
 230  orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments,
 231  how you disgraced her when you should marry her.
 232  My villainy they have upon record, which I had rather
 233  seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The
 234  lady is dead upon mine and my master's false
 235  accusation, and briefly, I desire nothing but the reward
 236  of a villain.
 237  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(to Claudio)}<T verse> Runs not this speech like  +
 237  iron through your blood?
 238  <S CLAUDIO> I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.
 239  <S DON PEDRO> <T asd> {(to Borachio)}<T verse> But did my brother set    +
 239  thee on to this?
 240  <S BORACHIO> Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it.
 241  <S DON PEDRO> He is composed and framed of treachery,
 242  And fled he is upon this villainy.
 243  <S CLAUDIO> Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear
 244  In the rare semblance that I loved it first.
 245  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this time
 246  our Sexton hath reformed Signor Leonato of the matter.
 247  And masters, do not forget to specify, when time and
 248  place shall serve, that I am an ass.
 249  <S VERGES> Here, here comes Master Signor Leonato, and the
 250  Sexton, too.<T dsd> {Enter Leonato, Antonio his brother, and the         +
 250  Sexton}
 251  <S LEONATO> <T verse> Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes,
 252  That when I note another man like him
 253  I may avoid him. Which of these is he?
 254  <S BORACHIO> If you would know your wronger, look on me.
 255  <S LEONATO> Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast killed
 256B Mine innocent child?<S BORACHIO> Yea, even I alone.
 257  <S LEONATO> No, not so, villain, thou beliest thyself.
 258  Here stand a pair of honourable men.
 259  A third is fled that had a hand in it.
 260  I thank you, Princes, for my daughter's death.
 261  Record it with your high and worthy deeds.
 262  'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.
 263  <S CLAUDIO> I know not how to pray your patience,
 264  Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself,
 265  Impose me to what penance your invention
 266  Can lay upon my sin. Yet sinned I not
 267B But in mistaking.<S DON PEDRO> By my soul, nor I,
 268  And yet to satisfy this good old man
 269  I would bend under any heavy weight
 270  That he'll enjoin me to.
 271  <S LEONATO> I cannot bid you bid my daughter live_
 272  That were impossible_but I pray you both
 273  Possess the people in Messina here
 274  How innocent she died, and if your love
 275  Can labour aught in sad invention,
 276  Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb
 277  And sing it to her bones, sing it tonight.
 278  Tomorrow morning come you to my house,
 279  And since you could not be my son-in-law,
 280  Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter,
 281  Almost the copy of my child that's dead,
 282  And she alone is heir to both of us.
 283  Give her the right you should have giv'n her cousin,
 284B And so dies my revenge.<S CLAUDIO> O noble sir!
 285  Your overkindness doth wring tears from me.
 286  I do embrace your offer; and dispose
 287  For henceforth of poor Claudio.
 288  <S LEONATO> Tomorrow then I will expect your coming.
 289  Tonight I take my leave. This naughty man
 290  Shall face to face be brought to Margaret,
 291  Who I believe was packed in all this wrong,
 292B Hired to it by your brother.<S BORACHIO> No, by my soul, she was not,
 293  Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
 294  But always hath been just and virtuous
 295  In anything that I do know by her.
 296  <S DOGBERRY> <T asd> {(to Leonato)}<T prose> Moreover, sir, which        +
 296  indeed is not
 297  under white and black, this plaintiff here, the offender,
 298  did call me ass. I beseech you let it be remembered in
 299  his punishment. And also the watch heard them talk
 300  of one Deformed. They say he wears a key in his ear
 301  and a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's
 302  name, the which he hath used so long and never paid
 303  that now men grow hard-hearted and will lend nothing
 304  for God's sake. Pray you examine him upon that point.
 305  <S LEONATO> <T verse> I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.
 306  <S DOGBERRY> <T prose> Your worship speaks like a most thankful and
 307  reverend youth, and I praise God for you.
 308  <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(giving him money)}<T prose> There's for thy        +
 308  pains.
 309  <S DOGBERRY> God save the foundation.
 310  <S LEONATO> Go. I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank
 311  thee.
 312  <S DOGBERRY> I leave an arrant knave with your worship,
 313  which I beseech your worship to correct yourself, for
 314  the example of others. God keep your worship, I wish
 315  your worship well. God restore you to health. I humbly
 316  give you leave to depart, and if a merry meeting may
 317  be wished, God prohibit it. Come, neighbour.<T esd> {Exeunt Dogberry     +
 317  and Verges}
 318  <S LEONATO> <T verse> Until tomorrow morning, lords, farewell.
 319  <S ANTONIO> Farewell, my lords. We look for you tomorrow.
 320B <S DON PEDRO> We will not fail.<S CLAUDIO> Tonight I'll mourn with       +
 320B Hero.
 321  <S LEONATO> <T asd> {(to the Watch)}<T verse> Bring you these fellows    +
 321  on._We'll talk with Margaret
 322  How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 2> <T dsd> {Enter Benedick and Margaret}
   1  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well
   2  at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice.
   3  <S MARGARET> Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of
   4  my beauty?
   5  <S BENEDICK> In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living
   6  shall come over it, for in most comely truth, thou
   7  deservest it.
   8  <S MARGARET> To have no man come over me_why, shall I
   9  always keep below stairs?
  10  <S BENEDICK> Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth,
  11  it catches.
  12  <S MARGARET> And yours as blunt as the fencer's foils, which
  13  hit but hurt not.
  14  <S BENEDICK> A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a
  15  woman. And so I pray thee call Beatrice. I give thee
  16  the bucklers.
  17  <S MARGARET> Give us the swords. We have bucklers of our
  18  own.
  19  <S BENEDICK> If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the
  20  pikes with a vice_and they are dangerous weapons
  21  for maids.
  22  <S MARGARET> Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think
  23  hath legs.<T esd> {Exit}
  24  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> And therefore will come.
  25  <T asd> {(Sings)}<T song> The god of love
  26  That sits above,
  27  And knows me, and knows me,
  28  How pitiful I deserve_
  29  <T prose> I mean in singing; but in loving, Leander the good
  30  swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a
  31  whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers
  32  whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a
  33  blank verse, why they were never so truly turned over
  34  and over as my poor self in love. Marry, I cannot show
  35  it in rhyme. I have tried. I can find out no rhyme to
  36  `lady" but `baby", an innocent rhyme; for `scorn" `horn",
  37  a hard rhyme; for `school" `fool", a babbling rhyme.
  38  Very ominous endings. No, I was not born under a
  39  rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms.<T dsd> {Enter        +
  39  Beatrice}
  40  <T prose> Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?
  41  <S BEATRICE> Yea, signor, and depart when you bid me.
  42  <S BENEDICK> O, stay but till then.
  43  <S BEATRICE> `Then" is spoken. Fare you well now. And yet
  44  ere I go, let me go with that I came for, which is with
  45  knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio.
  46  <S BENEDICK> Only foul words, and thereupon I will kiss thee.
  47  <S BEATRICE> Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is
  48  but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome, therefore
  49  I will depart unkissed.
  50  <S BENEDICK> Thou hast frighted the word out of his right
  51  sense, so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly,
  52  Claudio undergoes my challenge, and either I must
  53  shortly hear from him or I will subscribe him a coward.
  54  And I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts
  55  didst thou first fall in love with me?
  56  <S BEATRICE> For them all together, which maintain so politic
  57  a state of evil that they will not admit any good part
  58  to intermingle with them. But for which of my good
  59  parts did you first suffer love for me?
  60  <S BENEDICK> Suffer love_a good epithet. I do suffer love
  61  indeed, for I love thee against my will.
  62  <S BEATRICE> In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart.
  63  If you spite it for my sake I will spite it for yours, for I
  64  will never love that which my friend hates.
  65  <S BENEDICK> Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.
  66  <S BEATRICE> It appears not in this confession. There's not
  67  one wise man among twenty that will praise himself.
  68  <S BENEDICK> An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in
  69  the time of good neighbours. If a man do not erect in
  70  this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no
  71  longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow
  72  weeps.
  73  <S BEATRICE> And how long is that, think you?
  74  <S BENEDICK> Question_why, an hour in clamour and a
  75  quarter in rheum. Therefore is it most expedient for the
  76  wise, if Don Worm_his conscience_find no impediment
  77  to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his own
  78  virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising myself
  79  who, I myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy. And
  80  now tell me, how doth your cousin?
  81  <S BEATRICE> Very ill.
  82  <S BENEDICK> And how do you?
  83  <S BEATRICE> Very ill too.
  84  <S BENEDICK> Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I
  85  leave you too, for here comes one in haste.<T dsd> {Enter Ursula}
  86  <S URSULA> <T prose> Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder's
  87  old coil at home. It is proved my lady Hero hath been
  88  falsely accused, the Prince and Claudio mightily abused,
  89  and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone.
  90  Will you come presently?
  91  <S BEATRICE> Will you go hear this news, signor?
  92  <S BENEDICK> I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
  93  buried in thy eyes. And moreover, I will go with thee
  94  to thy uncle's.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 3> <T dsd> {Enter Claudio, Don Pedro the Prince, and three or four    +
   0  with tapers, all in black}
   1  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> Is this the monument of Leonato?
   2  <S A LORD> It is, my lord.
   3  <S [CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(reading from a scroll)]}<T song> Done to death    +
   3  by slanderous tongues
   4  Was the Hero that here lies.
   5  Death in guerdon of her wrongs
   6  Gives her fame which never dies.
   7  So the life that died with shame
   8  Lives in death with glorious fame.<T dsd> {He hangs the epitaph on the   +
   8  tomb}
   9  <T song> Hang thou there upon the tomb,
  10  Praising her when I am dumb.
  11  <T verse> Now music sound, and sing your solemn hymn.
  12  <T asd> {Song}<T song> Pardon, goddess of the night,
  13  Those that slew thy virgin knight,
  14  For the which with songs of woe
  15  Round about her tomb they go.
  16  Midnight, assist our moan,
  17  Help us to sigh and groan,
  18  Heavily, heavily.
  19  Graves yawn, and yield your dead
  20  Till death be uttere\d,
  21  Heavily, heavily.
  22  <S [CLAUDIO]> <T verse> Now, unto thy bones good night.
  23  Yearly will I do this rite.
  24  <S DON PEDRO> Good morrow, masters, put your torches out.
  25  The wolves have preyed, and look, the gentle day
  26  Before the wheels of Phoebus round about
  27  Dapples the drowsy east with spots of grey.
  28  Thanks to you all, and leave us. Fare you well.
  29  <S CLAUDIO> Good morrow, masters. Each his several way.
  30  <S DON PEDRO> Come, let us hence, and put on other weeds,
  31  And then to Leonato's we will go.
  32  <S CLAUDIO> And Hymen now with luckier issue speed 's
  33  Than this for whom we rendered up this woe.<T esd> {Exeunt}
   0  <Y 4> <T dsd> {Enter Leonato, Antonio, Benedick, Beatrice, Margaret,     +
   0  Ursula, Friar Francis, and Hero}
   1  <S FRIAR> <T verse> Did I not tell you she was innocent?
   2  <S LEONATO> So are the Prince and Claudio who accused her
   3  Upon the error that you heard debated.
   4  But Margaret was in some fault for this,
   5  Although against her will as it appears
   6  In the true course of all the question.
   7  <S ANTONIO> Well, I am glad that all things sorts so well.
   8  <S BENEDICK> And so am I, being else by faith enforced
   9  To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it.
  10  <S LEONATO> Well, daughter, and you gentlewomen all,
  11  Withdraw into a chamber by yourselves,
  12  And when I send for you come hither masked.<T esd> {Exeunt Beatrice,     +
  12  Hero, Margaret, and Ursula}
  13  <T verse> The Prince and Claudio promised by this hour
  14  To visit me. You know your office, brother,
  15  You must be father to your brother's daughter,
  16  And give her to young Claudio.
  17  <S ANTONIO> Which I will do with confirmed countenance.
  18  <S BENEDICK> Friar, I must entreat your pains, I think.
  19A <S FRIAR> To do what, signor?
  20  <S BENEDICK> To bind me or undo me, one of them.
  21  Signor Leonato, truth it is, good signor,
  22  Your niece regards me with an eye of favour.
  23  <S LEONATO> That eye my daughter lent her, 'tis most true.
  24  <S BENEDICK> And I do with an eye of love requite her.
  25  <S LEONATO> The sight whereof I think you had from me,
  26  From Claudio and the Prince. But what's your will?
  27  <S BENEDICK> Your answer, sir, is enigmatical.
  28  But for my will, my will is your good will
  29  May stand with ours this day to be conjoined
  30  In the state of honourable marriage,
  31  In which, good Friar, I shall desire your help.
  32B <S LEONATO> My heart is with your liking.<S FRIAR> And my help.
  33  Here comes the Prince and Claudio.<T dsd> {Enter Don Pedro and Claudio   +
  33  with attendants}
  34  <S DON PEDRO> <T verse> Good morrow to this fair assembly.
  35  <S LEONATO> Good morrow, Prince. Good morrow, Claudio.
  36  We here attend you. Are you yet determined
  37  Today to marry with my brother's daughter?
  38  <S CLAUDIO> I'll hold my mind, were she an Ethiope.
  39  <S LEONATO> Call her forth, brother, here's the Friar ready.<T esd>      +
  39  {Exit Antonio}
  40  <S DON PEDRO> <T verse> Good morrow, Benedick. Why, what's the matter
  41  That you have such a February face,
  42  So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?
  43  <S CLAUDIO> I think he thinks upon the savage bull.
  44  Tush, fear not, man, we'll tip thy horns with gold,
  45  And all Europa shall rejoice at thee
  46  As once Europa did at lusty Jove
  47  When he would play the noble beast in love.
  48  <S BENEDICK> Bull Jove, sir, had an amiable low,
  49  And some such strange bull leapt your father's cow
  50  And got a calf in that same noble feat
  51  Much like to you, for you have just his bleat.<T dsd> {Enter Antonio     +
  51  with Hero, Beatrice, Margaret, and Ursula, masked}
  52  <S CLAUDIO> <T verse> For this I owe you. Here comes other reck'nings.
  53  Which is the lady I must seize upon?
  54  <S [ANTONIO]> This same is she, and I do give you her.
  55  <S CLAUDIO> Why then, she's mine. Sweet, let me see your face.
  56  <S LEONATO> No, that you shall not till you take her hand
  57  Before this Friar and swear to marry her.
  58  <S CLAUDIO> <T asd> {(to Hero)}<T verse> Give me your hand before this   +
  58  holy friar.
  59  I am your husband if you like of me.
  60  <S HERO> <T asd> {(unmasking)}<T verse> And when I lived I was your      +
  60  other wife;
  61  And when you loved, you were my other husband.
  62B <S CLAUDIO> Another Hero!<S HERO> Nothing certainer.
  63  One Hero died defiled, but I do live,
  64  And surely as I live, I am a maid.
  65  <S DON PEDRO> The former Hero, Hero that is dead!
  66  <S LEONATO> She died, my lord, but whiles her slander lived.
  67  <S FRIAR> All this amazement can I qualify
  68  When after that the holy rites are ended
  69  I'll tell you largely of fair Hero's death.
  70  Meantime, let wonder seem familiar,
  71  And to the chapel let us presently.
  72  <S BENEDICK> Soft and fair, Friar, which is Beatrice?
  73  <S BEATRICE> <T asd> {(unmasking)}<T verse> I answer to that name, what  +
  73  is your will?
  74B <S BENEDICK> Do not you love me?<S BEATRICE> Why no, no more than        +
  74B reason.
  75  <S BENEDICK> Why then, your uncle and the Prince and Claudio
  76  Have been deceived. They swore you did.
  77B <S BEATRICE> Do not you love me?<S BENEDICK> Troth no, no more than      +
  77B reason.
  78  <S BEATRICE> Why then, my cousin, Margaret, and Ursula
  79  Are much deceived, for they did swear you did.
  80  <S BENEDICK> They swore that you were almost sick for me.
  81  <S BEATRICE> They swore that you were wellnigh dead for me.
  82  <S BENEDICK> 'Tis no such matter. Then you do not love me?
  83  <S BEATRICE> No, truly, but in friendly recompense.
  84  <S LEONATO> Come, cousin, I am sure you love the gentleman.
  85  <S CLAUDIO> And I'll be sworn upon 't that he loves her,
  86  For here's a paper written in his hand,
  87  A halting sonnet of his own pure brain,
  88B Fashioned to Beatrice.<S HERO> And here's another,
  89  Writ in my cousin's hand, stol'n from her pocket,
  90  Containing her affection unto Benedick.
  91  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> A miracle! Here's our own hands against our
  92  hearts. Come, I will have thee, but by this light, I take
  93  thee for pity.
  94  <S BEATRICE> I would not deny you, but by this good day, I
  95  yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your
  96  life, for I was told you were in a consumption.
  97  <S BENEDICK> <T asd> {(kissing her)}<T prose> Peace, I will stop your    +
  97  mouth.
  98  <S DON PEDRO> <T verse> How dost thou, Benedick the married man?
  99  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> I'll tell thee what, Prince: a college of wit-
 100  crackers cannot flout me out of my humour. Dost thou
 101  think I care for a satire or an epigram? No, if a man
 102  will be beaten with brains, a shall wear nothing
 103  handsome about him. In brief, since I do purpose to
 104  marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the
 105  world can say against it, and therefore never flout at
 106  me for what I have said against it. For man is a giddy
 107  thing, and this is my conclusion. For thy part, Claudio,
 108  I did think to have beaten thee, but in that thou art
 109  like to be my kinsman, live unbruised, and love my
 110  cousin.
 111  <S CLAUDIO> I had well hoped thou wouldst have denied
 112  Beatrice, that I might have cudgelled thee out of thy
 113  single life to make thee a double dealer, which out of
 114  question thou wilt be, if my cousin do not look
 115  exceeding narrowly to thee.
 116  <S BENEDICK> Come, come, we are friends, let's have a dance
 117  ere we are married, that we may lighten our own
 118  hearts and our wives' heels.
 119  <S LEONATO> We'll have dancing afterward.
 120  <S BENEDICK> First, of my word. Therefore play, music.<T asd> {(To}
 121  {Don Pedro)}<T prose> Prince, thou art sad, get thee a wife, get
 122  thee a wife. There is no staff more reverend than one
 123  tipped with horn.<T dsd> {Enter Messenger}
 124  <S MESSENGER> <T verse> My lord, your brother John is ta'en in flight,
 125  And brought with arme\d men back to Messina.
 126  <S BENEDICK> <T prose> Think not on him till tomorrow, I'll devise thee
 127  brave punishments for him. Strike up, pipers.
 127  <T dsd> {Dance, and exeunt}
      <T characters><X ><Y ><S ><A >
      A LORD
      A WATCHMAN
      ANTONIO
      BALTHASAR
      BEATRICE
      BENEDICK
      BORACHIO
      BOY
      CLAUDIO
      CONRAD
      CONRAD {AND} BORACHIO
      DOGBERRY
      DON JOHN
      DON PEDRO
      FIRST WATCHMAN
      FRIAR
      HERO
      LEONATO
      MARGARET
      MESSENGER
      SECOND WATCHMAN
      SEXTON
      URSULA
      VERGES
      WATCH
      [A WATCHMAN]
      [ANTONIO]
      [BALTHASAR]
      [CLAUDIO
      [CLAUDIO]
      [CONRAD]
      [FIRST] WATCHMAN
      <A ><D ><H ><K ><O ><S ><T ><X ><Y >